Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph below illustrates the date about the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs increased in the sectors of Healthcare and Retail reaching at the same number of jobs at more than 15 million. while, the number of decrement in the jobs of Agriculture and Manufacturing kept decreased over the time.

Inresntingly, the number of jobs for Manufacturing sector in the start were at 15 million and till the 1980 they increased to 20 million but as the time passed they kept decreasing and reached below 15 million. On the other hand, Retail and Healthcare section jobs were showing the maximize trent starting from 0 to 5 million jobs and reacing at more than 15 million till 2020. furthermore, Agriculture section was not able to make increase in jobs started from more than 5 million and in the end reached at 0.5 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrast: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines, and you describe manufacturing’s rise to a peak before falling. These are relevant features and give the response a clear overview. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Healthcare and retail finish at about 16 million each, but healthcare starts at about 2 million, not zero; agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 0.5 million. The overview also says manufacturing “kept decreased,” although it first rises. To strengthen the report, give more precise comparisons at the four dates and distinguish the sectors’ different patterns, especially healthcare’s strong growth and retail’s steadier increase.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to a paragraph describing the trends. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps connect the manufacturing trend with retail and healthcare. However, progression within the detail paragraph is not always clear: retail and healthcare are grouped together despite starting at different levels, and agriculture is added in a long final sentence. Some linking is mechanical or inaccurate, such as “while” after a full stop and the lower-case “furthermore” after a full stop. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture in one section, then retail and healthcare—and use transitions to show how their trends differ.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sectors,” “increased,” “decreasing,” and “reached,” so the reader can generally identify the trends being described. However, the range and control are limited, with several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems. “The date about the number of employment” is not a natural way to introduce the graph; “the number of jobs” is clearer. “Maximize trent” and “number of decrement” are difficult to interpret, while “Inresntingly” and “reacing” contain spelling errors. Use precise trend language such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “On the other hand” and a time clause beginning “as the time passed.” The main trends are usually understandable, but errors in sentence construction and verb forms sometimes make the relationships unclear. For example, “the number of decrement in the jobs … kept decreased” has an incorrect noun phrase and verb form, and “reaching at the same number” uses an unnecessary preposition. The overview’s “while” begins a fragment after a full stop, and “the number of jobs … were” shows a subject–verb agreement problem. Practise complete sentences, accurate past-tense verbs, and agreement between the subject and verb.

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