Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line paragraph illustrates the information about four sectors of US economy between 1960 and 2020 which provide jobs(in million).

The manufacturing sector provided about 15 million jobs in 1960 and it sharply increased to 20 million in 1980 which is high nuber of jobs.After it decresed constantly and went on about 12.5 million which ic minimum from 1960.

In 1960 retail sector was provided 6 million jobs and it rose significantly,it reached on 15 million in 2000.Thats mean it increased 2 times in 40 years and in last twenty years amount increased only one million.

The agriculture sector in 1960 at 6 million at it fell constantly and it reached on two million in 2020.

The heathcare sector also increased to 2 million to 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and the decline in agriculture. However, the response is only a partial summary: it has no clear overview of the main comparisons, and healthcare is mentioned only as rising from 2 to 16 million, without showing its steady growth or that it catches up with retail by 2020. Some details are inaccurate: manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not 12.5, and retail rises from 15 to 16 million in the final period, rather than increasing by only one million overall. The response is also 22 words below the required minimum. Add a concise overview and develop the key comparisons with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic sequence, moving through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, so the reader can follow which sector is being discussed. The use of time markers such as “in 1960,” “in 1980” and “in 2000” also helps locate some figures. However, there is no introductory overview paragraph or clear concluding comparison, and the sector-by-sector listing does not build a strong overall progression. Linking is limited, with repeated “and” and “it,” while “After it” and “Thats mean” do not connect ideas clearly. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with declining agriculture would make the organisation more purposeful; clearer paragraphing and reference words would also improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “increased,” “decreased,” “rose significantly” and “fell constantly.” These choices make the general direction of several trends understandable. However, the range is limited and some phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “the given line paragraph,” “which is high nuber of jobs,” and “reached on 15 million.” Spelling errors, including “decresed,” “minimum” where “lowest” is intended, and “heathcare,” are noticeable and reduce clarity. Aim for accurate, conventional chart language and vary the verbs without forcing complex expressions. For example, use “the figure stood at” for a value and “declined steadily” for a sustained fall.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the reader can generally identify the sector and its trend. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic patterns. For example, “In 1960 retail sector was provided 6 million jobs” uses an incorrect passive construction; write “The retail sector provided 6 million jobs.” In “The agriculture sector in 1960 at 6 million at it fell,” the main verb is missing and the clauses are joined incorrectly. Articles and prepositions are also often absent or inaccurate, as in “between 1960 and 2020” without “the” before “US economy,” and “reached on.” Use complete subject–verb sentences, check articles and clause boundaries, and punctuate sentences consistently.

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