Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four different departments of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the healthcare and retail sector jobs kept increasing by the period of time and ends at the same point in the last year given, while manufacturing jobs were the most in numbers in early years although their number dropped significantly after.

In year 1960 the highest number of jobs were of manfacturing industries about 15 millions and keep growing untill 20 million in year 1980 and then numbers kept decreasing. Furthermore, agriculture department has approximately 6 million employees in year 1960 which decreased to about 3 million in 1980 and remained constant at 2000 before dropping another 1 million at year 2020.

While, retail sector have a huge surge between year 1960 and 2000 numbers kept improving with starting at approximately 6 million in 1960 and ending at about 16 million in year 2020. In addition, healthcare jobs number also improved a lot by the period of time and kept growing with starting from just approximately 2 million and after lot of improvement ending at 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You provide a relevant summary with an overview of the broad trends: manufacturing rises and then declines, agriculture falls, and healthcare and retail grow. You also include several useful figures, such as manufacturing reaching about 20 million in 1980 and agriculture dropping from 6 million to 2 million. However, some key details are incomplete or unclear. The overview says healthcare and retail end at the same point, which is accurate, but it does not identify that both finish at about 16 million or that healthcare catches up with retail by 2020. The retail account describes growth only through 2000 before giving its 2020 figure, and the manufacturing decline is not quantified. More precise comparisons and a fuller account of the final values would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs grouping the declining sectors and the growing sectors. This makes the main trends reasonably easy to follow. Some linking is effective, including “Furthermore” and “In addition,” but the connections can feel mechanical, and “While” at the start of the final paragraph is not followed by a contrasting clause. The overview also combines several points in a long sentence, making the relationship between the trends less clear. Improve progression by grouping comparisons more deliberately—for example, compare retail and healthcare directly as they rise to the same endpoint—and use linking expressions only when they show a genuine relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to describe the graph, including “increasing,” “decreased,” “remained constant,” and “dropped,” so the trends are generally understandable. However, some word choices and collocations are imprecise or repetitive. “Departments of the economy” is less suitable than “sectors,” and “the most in numbers” is awkward when describing the largest employment figure. “Huge surge” is informal and overstates the steady rise shown, while “kept improving” is not a precise way to describe job numbers. There are also spelling errors such as “manfacturing” and “untill.” Aim for accurate, neutral reporting language and vary verbs such as “rose,” “increased,” and “climbed” according to the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, and the overall meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors, however, affect accuracy. In the overview, “the healthcare and retail sector jobs kept increasing … and ends” shifts from plural agreement and past tense to a singular present-tense verb; “ended” would fit the sentence. Other examples include “In year 1960 the highest number of jobs were” and “retail sector have,” where articles and subject–verb agreement are missing or incorrect. The phrase “starting at … and ending at” also needs a consistent grammatical construction. Use past tense consistently for this completed period, check singular and plural subjects, and add articles where needed. These corrections would make your varied sentence forms more controlled.

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