Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

if you see the graph is shows the sharp decline in jobs in agriculture,whereas a sharp incline in retail market which i think due to global warming which has made agriculture difficult and making import a big problem for USA. this is the reason mostly are attracting towards retail sector,same goes for amnufacturing as mostly industries are moving towards countries which are less developed because of cheap labor as compare to USA where labor and taxes are a major reason of high costs. a sharp incline in healthcare from [redacted phone] shows how much the country has grown in terms of population therefore need of doctors and supporting staffs necessary. if we have to make comparision of jobs healthcare now adays is very much active as the government making efforts to improve the healthcare of the country strong and affordable for people,due to which many americans are selecting medical as their profession

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several broad trends that are visible in the graph: agriculture declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and healthcare grows substantially over the period. However, the response only partially reports the visual information. It gives no figures or clear comparisons between the four sectors, and it omits key features such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 before falling, and retail and healthcare reaching similar levels by 2020. Much of the response instead speculates about causes—global warming, imports, labour costs and government policy—which the graph does not show. To strengthen the report, give a concise overview of the main patterns, support it with selected figures, and avoid explanations that cannot be verified from the data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation around the sectors, and linking expressions such as “whereas,” “as,” and “therefore” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the response reads largely as one long sequence rather than a clearly structured report. The opening moves directly into explanations, and there is no distinct overview followed by organised comparisons of the data. Connections such as “same goes for manufacturing” are vague, while repeated causal links make the progression difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the main details, and group related trends—for example, rising sectors together and declining or fluctuating sectors together. Clearer references to the years and figures would also help readers follow the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “sharp decline,” “sharp incline,” and “comparision of jobs,” so the general subject is understandable. There is also an attempt to use more specific terms such as “manufacturing” and “healthcare.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or informal for an academic graph report: “incline” is less natural than “increase,” “active” does not clearly describe employment levels, and “attracting towards” is awkward. Spelling errors such as “amnufacturing,” “comparision,” and “adays” also reduce control. Build a set of precise trend verbs and comparison phrases, and use neutral language rather than speculative or conversational wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to combine ideas using subordinate clauses and cause-and-effect structures, for example, “which has made agriculture difficult” and “therefore need of doctors…”. However, these longer constructions are often faulty, and sentence boundaries are not controlled consistently. The opening, “if you see the graph is shows,” has an incorrect clause structure, while “a sharp incline in healthcare… shows how much the country has grown” lacks a clear grammatical link to the data. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and punctuation, including “the government making efforts” and the run-on sentences joined by commas. Use shorter, complete sentences first, then add complex clauses only when their structure is secure.

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