Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph provides information regarding the number of jobs in million in four sectors of the economy in the United States between the year 1960 to 2020. The four sectors included in the graph are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

In the year 1960, around 15 million people were working in manufacturing giving it a head start from others in that year, which later showed increment to around 20 million in the year 1980, further decling to around 13 million in jobs when reaching the year 2020. The jobs in retail shows gradual increase in its number as the years passes starting from 6 million in the year 1960 to around 16 million when reaching the year 2020. Along with retail, the jobs in healthcare shows a promising rise starting from the around 2 million in the 60s to 16 million in 2020.

Meanwhile, the amount of people opting for agriculture declined as decades went by. It started with 6 millions in the year 1960 and showed shocking fall to half of it in the 80s. It shows consistency in the number between the 80s to 2000s, later declining to approximately 2 million in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and report their main directions of change, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and subsequent decline, and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the overview is not stated clearly as a summary of the most important comparisons. Some details are inaccurate or incomplete: manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000, not simply described as declining to 13 million by 2020, and retail rises from 6 to 16 million rather than being explicitly compared with manufacturing. Healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, tying with retail, a key feature worth highlighting. The agriculture figures are broadly accurate, though “half of it” could be made more precise. More selective comparisons and a clear overview would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction is followed by a paragraph on manufacturing, retail and healthcare, then one on agriculture. The sequence is generally easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Meanwhile,” “Along with,” and “later” help connect trends. This meets the lower-band expectation of an organised response and shows some stronger progression. However, the first body paragraph combines three sectors without clearly distinguishing their comparisons, while the final paragraph treats agriculture separately without a concluding overview. Some links are also mechanical or imprecise, such as “which later showed increment” and “as the years passes.” Grouping the sectors by contrasting trends and using clearer references would make cohesion more flexible and precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “consistency,” “promising rise,” and “approximately.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or too informal for a data report: “head start from others” is not a natural way to describe the leading sector, “shocking fall” is subjective, and “showed increment” is awkward. There are also form and spelling slips, including “decling” and “6 millions.” Aim for precise, neutral reporting language and use standard collocations such as “rose to,” “fell to,” and “remained stable.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which” and time expressions such as “as decades went by.” The meaning is generally clear, and errors rarely prevent the reader from following the trends. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, however. For example, “between the year 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern; write “between 1960 and 2020.” In “the jobs in retail shows” and “as the years passes,” subject–verb agreement is incorrect. Articles and number forms also need attention in “starting from the around 2 million” and “6 millions.” Check agreement, articles and plural forms carefully, while retaining your attempts at varied sentence structures.

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