Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the information regarding number of jobs in four major sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Manufacturing sector had an upper hand in creating employment till 2000 while creating 20 million jobs in the year 1980 being the largest sector then. This trend gradually decreased after the year 1980 and eventually in 2020 it ended up below retail and healthcare sector. The main reason of this declining trend might be the emerging Manufacturing giant, China. China started growing its manufacturing sector in 1980 and major industries started shifting from US to China.

The retail sector started with 6 million jobs and had shown continuous growth in creating job opportunities. In between 2005 to 2015 its contribution towards creating employment opportunities surpassed Manufacturing sector and became one of the leading sector of the economy. Likewise, Healthcare sector showed the same trend as of retail but the growth percentage was highest among all. Within a short span of 60 years it reached the retail sector by providing 16 million jobs in the year 2020.

Agriculture sector had shown continuous decline starting from 6 million jobs and ending up nearly 2 million jobs, becoming the most ineffiecient sector of US economy. As US economy is not an agriculture based economy, it might be the reason of continuous decline.

From this graph it can be anticipated that in next 20 years, Healthcare sector will be the largest job creating sector of US economy while Manufacturing and agriculture will continue to decline.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns accurately: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls to about 2 million. You also note that healthcare and retail both reach 16 million by 2020. This gives the report a relevant overview and supports it with key figures. However, some details are imprecise: manufacturing was not below retail and healthcare in 2020, but equal to neither? It was below both, at 13 million, so that comparison is correct; more importantly, retail overtakes manufacturing between 1980 and 2000, not specifically between 2005 and 2015. The explanations about China and the US economy, and the forecast for the next 20 years, are not shown by the graph. A more complete report would focus on the data and avoid unsupported causes or predictions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a clear sequence, with separate paragraphs for manufacturing, retail and healthcare, agriculture, and a concluding statement. Linking expressions such as “Likewise” and “From this graph” help signal relationships between ideas, and the reader can follow the broad trends. Some cohesion is less effective because the report moves from describing the chart to speculation about China and future employment, which interrupts the data-focused progression. The phrase “the same trend as of retail” also makes the relationship between the two sectors less clear than it could be. To strengthen the organisation, begin with a concise overview of the main contrasts, then group the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, using comparisons tied directly to the years and figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “employment opportunities,” “continuous decline,” “contribution,” and “surpassed,” so the main trends are communicated. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, but some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Had an upper hand” is not a suitable collocation here, while “largest sector” would be clearer as a comparison of job numbers. “Ineffiecient” is misspelled and also makes an unsupported judgement about the sector; the graph only shows that it had fewer jobs. Phrases such as “growth percentage was highest” are imprecise because the chart gives job totals, not percentages. Aim for precise trend language and neutral descriptions rather than evaluative or causal wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “while,” “as,” and “starting from,” and most of the meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, agreement, and tense. For example, “Manufacturing sector” and “Healthcare sector” need an article or plural form in these contexts, and “one of the leading sector” should use a plural noun. “Had shown continuous growth” is an awkward tense choice for a chart covering a completed period; the present perfect or simple past would be more appropriate depending on the sentence. The sentence beginning “Within a short span of 60 years” also needs clearer grammatical framing. Review article use and subject–verb/noun agreement, while keeping the useful variety of sentence structures.

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