Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the information of the number of jobs in four proportions manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare of the econmy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,the both trend retail and healthcare goes to the upward side together ,while manufacturing is rose then fall and the agriculture is down but after that this trend is declinde gradually .

Looking at the manufacturing is rose 20% from 15% in 1980 before falling gradually to 14% in 2020.the retail is rise 10% from 5% in 1980 after that increase 17% from 10% in 2020.

The agriculture is falling around 2% from 6% after that this is declined gradually.The healthcare is rose 5% from nearlyt 2% and thsese is goes upto 16%.But retail and health care goes to opposite the retail is rose and the healthcare is fall gradually.but retail and healthcare goes to incline way together.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview that manufacturing rises before falling, while agriculture declines. However, the account only partially reports the main features, and several figures or comparisons are inaccurate: retail starts at about 6 million, not 5, and reaches about 16 million, not 17; healthcare rises to 16 million, but you later say it falls. The statement that retail and healthcare move in opposite directions also conflicts with the chart, as both increase overall. The response is 143 words, below the required 150. To improve, give a clear overview of the leading changes and compare the sectors accurately, using consistent units of jobs in millions rather than percentages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and a detail paragraph, which gives the reader some sense of structure. However, progression is weak because the final sentences repeat or contradict earlier points: you say retail and healthcare rise together, then that they move in opposite directions, and then again that they incline together. Linking phrases such as “after that” are repeated and do not always clarify the sequence. The detail paragraph also moves between sectors without a clear comparison pattern. Use one paragraph for the overview and a second for grouped details, and connect each figure directly to the trend it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “upward,” “falling,” “gradually” and “increase,” so the general topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms make the description unclear, such as “four proportions” for sectors and “the econmy.” Repeated phrases like “goes to the upward side” and “after that” are not natural ways to describe data. The use of “%” is also inappropriate because the graph measures jobs in millions, not percentages. Build a more precise set of trend expressions and use the chart’s units consistently; this will make comparisons easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both an overview sentence and longer sentences with contrast, but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction occur frequently, as in “manufacturing is rose then fall” and “the healthcare is rose 5%.” Several clauses are joined without clear grammatical links, particularly in the final sentence, which makes the relationship between the trends difficult to follow. Articles and agreement are also unreliable in phrases such as “the both trend.” Aim first for accurate simple sentences using a consistent past-tense reporting pattern, for example, “Manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980, then fell.” Once these are secure, add comparisons with “while” or “whereas.”

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