Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line Graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, jobs in healthcare and retail sector increased significantly during the period of time. Manufacturing sector had slight increase till 1980 but kept on decreasing afterwards while jobs in agriculture sector were lowest among all.

Jobs in the field of retail were 5 million in 1960 and with a massive increase, they reached to around 16 million in 2020. Similarly, healthcare sector was at around 3 million in 1960, and with constant rapid growth the number reached around 16 million in 2020 , with a largest increase among all sectors.

The case was not similar in Manufacturing and agriculture sector. Jobs in Manufacturing field were 15 millions in 1960 and this number peaked in 1980 reaching to 20 million jobs, highest among all but after constant decline in future years, it ended up around 13 million in 2020. While, jobs in Agricultural area were same as retail sector in 1960 around 6 million and with the passage of time, the number kept on decreasing and ended up around 2 million in 2020 lowest among all sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address the task with a clear overview: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. The main comparisons are supported with figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and the two sectors reaching about 16 million by 2020. Most reported values and trends match the chart. However, some starting figures are inaccurate: retail is about 6 million, not 5 million, and healthcare is about 2 million, not 3 million. The claim that healthcare had “the largest increase among all sectors” is also imprecise, since retail rises by roughly 10 million while healthcare rises by about 14 million. More precise comparisons would strengthen an otherwise well-focused summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a clear overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining ones. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Similarly,” and “While” help connect ideas, but some transitions feel mechanical or create awkward sentence boundaries. For example, “The case was not similar in Manufacturing and agriculture sector” is a vague transition, and the final sentence beginning “While” is attached to a long preceding sentence. Use clearer topic sentences and vary the way comparisons are linked; ensure each sentence has a complete, well-balanced structure. This would make the progression smoother and cohesion less noticeable.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased significantly,” “peaked,” “constant decline,” and “kept on decreasing.” These choices communicate the main movements, though some expressions are imprecise or unnatural for a formal chart summary. “With a massive increase” is informal, while “the case was not similar” does not clearly express the contrast. There is also repetition of “jobs,” “sector,” and “number,” and inconsistent capitalisation of “Manufacturing.” Aim for more precise collocations such as “rose steadily,” “declined gradually,” and “by contrast.” Greater control of these phrases would make the description more concise and natural without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “while” and “but,” and the overall meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors recur, however. In “jobs in healthcare and retail sector,” the plural sectors need an article or plural form; “the number reached around 16 million” is more appropriate than “they reached” when referring to a number. There are also errors in number and sentence construction, such as “15 millions” and the long final sentence beginning “While,” which is not a complete independent sentence. Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, as in “2020 ,”. Review articles, singular/plural agreement, and sentence boundaries, while keeping the useful range of clause structures you already attempt.

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