Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph below delineates data about the number of employment in four fields of the economy in the United States (in millions) from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of employment in the manufacturing sharply rose then decreased to the lowest, however, in the retail and healthcare sector the jobs increased and reached at the same position, while jobs in agriculture sector fell at the lowest throughout the time period.

In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector started from 15 million then increased and reached at 20 million in 1980, however, they sharply fell and touched 13 million in 2020.

Secondly, the number of employment in the retail sector started from 6 million in 1960 then reached at 16 million in 2020. On the other hand, the number of jobs in agriculutre sector also started from the 6 million but kept falling and reached at 3 million in 2020. Thirdly, the number of jobs in Healthcare sector started from 2 million in 1960 sharply rose and reached at 16 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before falling, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture declines. The overview also notes that retail and healthcare finish at the same level, which is accurate. Several figures are reported correctly, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and the final 16 million for retail and healthcare. However, some details are incomplete or inaccurate: agriculture reaches 2 million in 2020, not 3 million, and the account omits the important intermediate values for retail and healthcare and the fact that agriculture stays level from 1980 to 2000. The claim that manufacturing fell to “the lowest” is unclear and misleading, since agriculture is lowest. More precise comparisons and a fuller overview would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and separate detail paragraphs, and the reader can generally follow the sequence from 1960 to 2020. However, progression is weakened by mechanical signposting such as “Secondly” and “Thirdly,” which does not clearly show relationships between the sectors. The manufacturing paragraph is separated from the retail and agriculture comparison, while healthcare is added in a final sentence without a clear comparison to retail, despite their shared endpoint. Some linking words, including “however” and “On the other hand,” suggest contrasts that are not fully developed. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clear comparisons, would make the organisation more coherent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” and “sharply rose,” so the main trends are understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise: “number of employment” is repeated where “number of jobs” or “employment” would fit, and “reached at” is not the correct expression. “Touched 13 million” is informal for describing a graph, while “the lowest” does not clearly identify what is being compared. There is also a spelling error in “agriculutre.” Aim for accurate, conventional reporting language and vary verbs such as “rose,” “increased,” “declined,” and “stood at” without forcing synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using time clauses and contrast, for example, “In 1960 … then increased … however, they sharply fell.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but some grammatical errors recur. “The number of employment” has an incorrect noun construction, and “the number of jobs … started from 15 million then increased” needs clearer sentence structure and punctuation. In the overview, “the number … in the manufacturing sharply rose” is missing a grammatical link, and “in the retail and healthcare sector the jobs increased” has awkward article and number agreement. Several long sentences join contrasting ideas with commas rather than well-controlled punctuation. Check sentence boundaries, articles, and agreement when describing each sector.

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