Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph below illustrates data about the number of employees in four economic sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of employment in two economic sectors including retail and healthcare sector increased between the time period, however, the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture sector decreased with the time.

Firstly, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector started from 15 million in 1960 then sharply rose and reached 20 million in 1980 then fell and reached the lowest point at 13 million in 2020. Whereas the number of employement in the healthcare sector started from 2 million in 1960 then increased and reached 11 million in 2000 then sharply rose and reached 16 million in 2020.

Secondly, the number of employment in the retail sector started from 6 million in 1960 then reached at the highest at 16 million in 2020. On the other hand the number of jobs in agriculture sector started from 6 million then sharply fell and reached 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline over the period. The report also includes several accurate figures, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare reaching 16 million in 2020. This gives the reader a sound account of the broad trends. However, some important comparisons are underdeveloped: retail’s steady rise and healthcare’s particularly strong growth after 1980 could be compared more directly, and agriculture’s fall to 3 million by 1980 followed by a smaller decline is omitted. Also, saying manufacturing reached its “lowest point” in 2020 is not quite accurate, as the graph only shows that it fell to 13 million. More precise selection and comparison would strengthen the overview and detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. The sequence from manufacturing to healthcare, then retail to agriculture, is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly” and “Secondly” help distinguish the groups. However, these transitions are somewhat mechanical, and repeated use of “then” makes the descriptions sound like lists rather than connected comparisons. The contrast introduced by “Whereas” is not fully integrated into the sentence, and “On the other hand” does not express a strong contrast between retail and agriculture as clearly as a direct comparison could. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining sectors together, with clearer links between their trends, would create smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “sector,” “increased,” “fell,” and “reached,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There is some repetition, however, particularly of “the number of jobs,” “started,” and “then,” which limits flexibility. Several word choices and collocations are unnatural: “the number of employment” and “reached at the highest” do not express the intended meaning naturally, while “sharply rose” overstates the manufacturing increase from 15 to 20 million. There is also a spelling error in “employement.” Aim for precise, conventional chart language such as “employment in,” “rose to a peak of,” and “declined gradually.” This would make the report more fluent and accurate without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including longer sentences that describe changes over time, and the main meaning remains clear. However, some grammatical patterns are not controlled consistently. For example, “the number of employment … increased” has an awkward noun construction, and “the number of jobs … started from 15 million” uses an unsuitable verb pattern. The sentence beginning “Whereas” is a dependent clause presented as a separate sentence, and the overview’s “between the time period” is not a well-formed time expression. Articles and singular/plural forms also need attention in phrases such as “retail and healthcare sector” and “manufacturing and agriculture sector.” Practise complete comparisons and accurate noun phrases; this will improve control while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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