Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph above provide information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, this data is between 1960 and 2020 and it include include four jobs; Manufacturing, retail, agriculuture and healthcare.

Firstly we will discuss about manufacturing, in 1960 manufacturing has highest number of jobs in 1980 that were 20 million while it declined to almsot 13 million in 2020.The retail job has 6 million in 1960, then it start to incline and has its highest point of 16 million in 2020. The agriculture jobs hit its highest point in 1960 of 6 million, then it start to fall and its lowest point is 3 million in 2020. Last but not the least the healthcare intiate from it's bottom of 3 million in 1960, after it start climbing till 16 million in 2020.

At the end conclusion is that the manufacturing has highest number of jobs while healthcare has lowest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and retail rising to 16 million by 2020. However, the overview is not an accurate summary: the conclusion says manufacturing had the most jobs and healthcare the fewest, although by 2020 retail and healthcare were joint highest, while agriculture was lowest. There are also factual errors: agriculture falls to about 2 million, not 3 million, in 2020, and healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million. The response contains 142 words, below the required 150, so the task is not fully developed. Give a clear overview of the main changes and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure: an introduction, a sequence of sector descriptions, and a concluding statement. Transitions such as “Firstly,” “then,” and “Last but not the least” help signal movement between points. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, and the overview repeats the task rather than summarising the main patterns. The final sentence also conflicts with the data and does not effectively conclude the comparisons. Grouping related trends—for example, the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together—would create a clearer progression. Use linking expressions to show contrasts and changes over time, rather than relying mainly on a list-like sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “highest point,” “fall,” and “climbing,” so the reader can generally understand the intended changes. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “the retail job,” “start to incline,” and “initiate from it’s bottom.” Spelling errors, including “agriculuture” and “almsot,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, conventional chart language and vary the verbs used to describe increases and decreases. For example, describe a sector’s employment as “rose steadily” or “fell to around two million,” rather than using awkward phrases such as “start to incline.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences that connect changes over time, which gives the response some structural variety. However, errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “The graph above provide” has subject–verb disagreement, while “in 1960 manufacturing has highest number of jobs in 1980” mixes time references and does not clearly express the comparison. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “the healthcare intiate from it's bottom.” Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, check singular and plural agreement, and separate long descriptions into complete sentences. More accurate control of these basic patterns would make your comparisons clearer.

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