Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of employment in four sectors of US economy between 1960 and 2020. It comprises the data of about 60 years of economy in US about those four sectors.

Overall, manufacturing was the contributor in the economy in early years and was only overtaken by heathcare and retail in 2020. In contrast, agricultural share in economy declined over the period and was the smallest contributor in 2020.

From 1960 to 1980, jobs in manufacturing sector increased gradually from 15 million jobs to 20 million, which was the most contributing sector. In contrast, the same sector witnessed decline in jobs and by 2020, it only hold 13 million jobs.

Moreover, retail and healthcare were small shareholders of jobs , which were 6 million and 3 million respectively. Both of those rose steadily and were 16 million each in 2020. In contrast, agriculture was the only sector which witnessed only decline from 6 million to 2 million over the whole period of 60 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing starts as the largest sector and then declines, while agriculture falls and is smallest by 2020. You also report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million and agriculture’s fall from 6 to 2 million. However, the overview is not fully precise: manufacturing was overtaken by retail and healthcare only by 2020, but retail had already exceeded manufacturing by 2000. The account also says retail and healthcare were both 16 million in 2020, which is correct, but gives healthcare as 3 million in 1960 rather than about 2 million. More importantly, the intermediate trends for retail and healthcare are compressed, so the comparison is less fully developed than the manufacturing and agriculture descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing, then the other sectors. This makes the main information easy to follow. Cohesive phrases such as “In contrast” and “Moreover” help signal comparisons, although “In contrast” is repeated and does not always express a clear contrast between the adjacent points. The second paragraph’s statement about manufacturing being overtaken could be linked more directly to the later figures, and the final paragraph combines retail, healthcare and agriculture in a way that makes their separate trends less clear. To improve progression, group the rising sectors together and describe their values at each date before contrasting them with agriculture.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased gradually,” “witnessed decline,” “rose steadily” and “declined.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the meaning is generally clear. However, some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “number of employment,” “the contributor in the economy,” “small shareholders of jobs” and “only hold 13 million jobs.” “Healthcare” is also misspelled as “heathcare.” These issues show that less common or more formal wording is attempted but not always controlled in collocation or word form. Prefer precise chart language such as “number of jobs,” “largest sector,” “accounted for” and “stood at,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “In contrast” and a relative clause in “which was the most contributing sector.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors are noticeable. For example, “the same sector witnessed decline” needs an article (“a decline”), and “it only hold 13 million jobs” has an incorrect verb form (“held”). In “jobs in manufacturing sector,” an article is needed before “manufacturing sector,” while “retail and healthcare … which were” has an unclear reference and agreement pattern. There is also inconsistent control of articles and sentence punctuation around the space before commas. More accurate verb forms and clearer clause construction would strengthen the response.

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