Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph demonstrate the data about the number of jobs in main economic sectors in the USA from 1960 to 2020.

Overall ratail and healthcare sectors sharply increased while agriculcuture steadily decreased and manufacturing sector showed fluctuationg notion in the given period.

To be more precise, in 1960 manufacture related jobs were 15 millions in the number and the number rose to 20 millions in 1980 and then decreased sequentially in 2000 and 2020 fell under 12 millions. Reatail sector showed a significant steep in its growth where it rose from 5 millions to over 16 millions at the last year.

Agriculture sector jobs faced a decline from 5 millions to 1 and millions over the considered period. It has declined from 5 millions to 3 millions over the first two decades. Then steadily reached to its lower points of 1.5 millions. Health care related jobs increased with healthy tangent from 1960 to 2020. It started with 2 millions jobs and finished the period with reamarkable figure of 16 millions coincide with retail sectored jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address the task with a clear overview: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing fluctuates. The main trends are generally supported with relevant comparisons, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and healthcare reaching the same final level as retail. Most figures are close to the chart, but some are inaccurate: manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not below 12; retail begins at 6 million rather than 5; and agriculture finishes at about 2 million, not 1 or 1.5. These errors do not obscure the overall picture, and the response covers all four sectors. For greater precision, report approximate values consistently and avoid describing the manufacturing decline as sequential without clarifying its stages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, with the sectors grouped in a generally logical way. Sequencing phrases such as “Overall,” “To be more precise,” and “Then” help guide the reader, and the progression from earlier to later years is usually clear. This gives the report a coherent structure. However, some connections are awkward or unclear: “It has declined” does not have an immediately clear reference, and the agriculture paragraph repeats the decline before adding its later figures. The manufacturing and retail details are also compressed into one paragraph, while the final comparison is attached to a long sentence. Use clearer references and more deliberate links between each sector’s stages to make cohesion smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “sharply increased,” “steadily decreased,” “significant,” and “decline,” so the main movements are understandable. However, inaccurate spelling and word choice are frequent enough to limit precision: “ratail,” “agriculcuture,” “fluctuationg notion,” “Reatail,” and “reamarkable” distract the reader. Several expressions are also unnatural for describing a graph, such as “a significant steep in its growth,” “healthy tangent,” and “lower points.” Prefer standard collocations such as “a steep rise,” “increased steadily,” and “fell to a low of.” Check spelling carefully and choose vocabulary that describes the direction and scale of change directly; this would make your range more effective and reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and longer sentences with time clauses, for example, “It started with 2 millions jobs and finished the period…” This shows an attempt to vary sentence structure. However, errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction recur. “The graph demonstrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “15 millions” should use the singular unit form after a number. The sentence beginning “in 1960 manufacture related jobs were…” is awkwardly constructed, and “It has declined…” shifts tense unnecessarily when describing a completed period. Some sentences also run several stages together, making the grammatical relationships harder to follow. Use the past simple consistently for the historical data, check singular/plural forms, and divide long descriptions into clear, controlled sentences.

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