Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graphs illustrate the amount of jobs in manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare international economy from 1960 and 2020.
Overall, expect for agriculture all sectors has increasing trend in 2020.Retail and Healthcare increased steadily during the years . Agriculture decreased rapidly in the period.
Firstly, manufacturing stood at 15 million in 1960 and increased gradually in 1980 to 20 million.However ,in 2020 it decreased drastically to approximately 13 million.In 1960 agriculture begins with 5 million and decreased to approximately 4 million in 1980 and hit a low of approximately 2 million in the year 2020.
Retail has 5 million in 1960 and increased rapidly to 10 million in 1980.In 2000 it increased gradually to 15 million and steadily increased to approximately 16 million in 2020. Healthcare in 1960 stood at approximately 3 million and increased to 5 million after 2 years .it increased steadily to approximately 11 million in 2000 and 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You cover all four sectors and report the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before falling, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture declines. Several figures are close to the chart, including manufacturing at 15 and 20 million and retail reaching 15 million in 2000. However, the overview is not fully accurate: it says all sectors except agriculture increased, although manufacturing ends below its 1980 peak and below its 1960 level. Some details also need correction: agriculture is about 6 million in 1960 and 3 million in 1980, while healthcare rises from about 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980—not after two years. Clarify the key comparison that retail and healthcare finish jointly highest, at around 16 million.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs describing manufacturing/agriculture and retail/healthcare. This makes the information easy to follow, and sequencing by year is generally logical. You also use basic linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” and “In 2000.” To make the progression more fluent, use comparisons to connect related trends rather than presenting each series separately—for example, note that healthcare catches up with retail by 2020. Some transitions feel mechanical, and punctuation spacing disrupts the flow in places, as in “2020.Retail” and “However ,in 2020.” More consistent paragraphing and cleaner sentence boundaries would help the cohesion feel less abrupt.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased gradually,” “decreased drastically,” “hit a low,” and “stood at.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, some wording is imprecise or unnatural: “amount of jobs” is better expressed as “number of jobs,” and “international economy” does not describe the US economy shown. “Rapidly” and “steadily” are also used somewhat loosely to describe changes between widely spaced data points. Capitalisation is inconsistent, particularly “Retail” in the middle of a sentence. Aim for precise chart language and vary trend verbs while ensuring that each adjective accurately reflects the scale and direction of change.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the overview contrast “except for agriculture” and clauses linked with “and.” Most sentences convey the intended trend, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “all sectors has increasing trend” has subject–verb agreement and article problems; “agriculture begins” shifts into the present tense while describing past data; and “increased to 5 million after 2 years” uses an incorrect time reference. There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation issues, such as the full stop before “it increased steadily” and missing spaces after punctuation. Use consistent past-tense reporting, check singular/plural agreement, and proofread sentence boundaries to improve accuracy while retaining varied sentence structures.
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