Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph show information how many number of job in four city of the econonmy in the US from 1960 to 2020

In 1960 the manufactring job is higher15M than other employment. the health sector has low job 2.5M in 1960 if we talk abaout retail and argiculture sector job in 1960 6M but retail increase gradually but other then agriculture is decline .

In 1980 manfacturing job touch the 20M but decrease slowly. but we see that retail increase 5M to 10M . but the agriculture job steadily growth we can see in 1980 to 200. not major changed occures.but the healthcare employemnt increase gradually like in1980 the growth is 5M and in 200 12M and in 2020 its boom raised and 16M touch.

but manufacturing job decrease slowly and 200 18M and in 2000 14M and the retail job not much decrease from 1960 to 2000 the increased over the time in 2000 16M

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s peak around 1980 and the rise in healthcare employment, and you give some figures to support these points. However, the account is incomplete and the overview is not clearly stated. Some data are also inaccurate or confusing: agriculture fell from about 6 million to 3 million by 1980 and then to 2 million by 2020, rather than growing; manufacturing was about 17 million in 2000, not 18 million or 14 million; and retail was about 15 million in 2000, not 16 million. The final comparison and overall ranking of sectors are unclear. Select the main trends accurately and summarise them in a clear overview before giving key details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation by year, and the response generally moves from 1960 to later dates, so the reader can recognise the intended timeline. However, progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long, loosely connected sentences. Repeated use of “but” and “and” does not always show the relationship between points, while references such as “other then agriculture” and “in 200” are unclear. The paragraphing also does not distinguish an overview from supporting details. Group the information by trend—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use clear topic sentences and accurate time references to make comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant terms, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” “increase,” and “decrease,” which help communicate the subject. However, the vocabulary range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to interpret, such as “four city of the economy,” “healthcare employment increase gradually,” and “boom raised.” There are also frequent spelling errors, including “econonmy,” “manufactring,” and “argiculture,” which reduce clarity and control. Build a more accurate set of trend expressions, such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “reached a peak,” and check spelling and natural phrasing before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe changes over time and occasionally links clauses, but sentence structures are mostly simple or incomplete, and errors frequently make relationships between figures unclear. For example, “The graph show information how many number of job” lacks correct agreement and sentence structure, while “the agriculture job steadily growth” uses an incorrect verb form. Tense and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in the long passage beginning “In 1980 manufacturing job touch the 20M.” Use a consistent past tense for the historical data, form complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and separate contrasting points with full stops. Practising accurate comparative and complex sentence patterns will improve clarity.

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