Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph displays data about the number of job in four sectors like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing has the highest millions job in 1960, while healthcare leds minimum job opportunity. However, Retail and Agriculture were similar at same number at the beginnig.
In 1960, Manufacturing leds by maximum numbers of job about 15 millions and rose to 20 millions, however it decline steadily to just over 10 millions in 2020. While Retail also inclined from just under 5 millions in 1960 to 15millions in 2000 and just over in 2020.
Similarly, Agriculture and Healthcare has constant number of job in 1960 just over 5millions , however Agriculture down slightly to 3millions in 1980 and half of 5million in 2020, whereas Healthcare growth significantly about 15millions in 2000 and just over in 2020.
In conclusion, in 1960 , Manufacturing leds to higest number of job however after 2 decades it goes to declined. While ,Retail and Healthcare growth dramatically over the period of time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the main sectors and report several important trends, including manufacturing’s early lead and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, some figures and comparisons are inaccurate or unclear: retail starts at 6 million, not “just under 5,” and healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000, not 15 million. The overview also says retail and agriculture were similar at the start, but does not clearly summarise the later outcome: by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint highest at about 16 million, while agriculture is lowest. The conclusion repeats earlier points rather than adding a clear overall comparison. More accurate figures and a fuller overview of the major changes would strengthen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, detail paragraphs and a conclusion. The information is generally grouped by sector, which helps the reader follow the trends. However, progression is weakened by unclear or repetitive linking. For example, “however” is used several times to connect contrasting trends, and the final paragraph largely repeats the overview without bringing the comparisons together. Some references are also difficult to interpret, such as “just over in 2020,” where the figure being described is omitted. Organise the details more systematically—for example, compare manufacturing and retail first, then agriculture and healthcare—and use precise references and a wider range of linking expressions.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “decline,” “down slightly” and “growth significantly.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, making parts of the report difficult to understand. Phrases such as “highest millions job,” “minimum job opportunity” and “Retail also inclined” do not express the intended data clearly. There are also spelling errors, including “beginnig,” “higest” and “leds.” Aim for standard chart language and check spelling and word forms: for example, describe the number of jobs as “employment” or “jobs,” and use “increased” or “rose” for upward trends. This would make your comparisons more precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses joined with “while” and “whereas,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in verb forms and agreement: “Manufacturing has the highest” shifts awkwardly into a past-time report, “Agriculture and Healthcare has” should use a plural verb, and “Agriculture down slightly” is missing a finite verb. Articles and sentence construction also need attention, as in “at same number” and the long opening sentence listing the sectors. Punctuation around “however” is often faulty, and some sentences are fragments or incomplete, such as “just over in 2020.” Practise complete past-tense sentences and check that each clause has a subject and verb; this will improve clarity.
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