Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph show number of jobs in four sectors from 1960 to 2020. let me explain first i will talk about the first one that is manufacturing it goes so high, in 1960 that is 15 line and in 1980 it goes 20 line and after it come down its show me at 16 or 17 line that is not good and in 2020 its come more down, its looks like 12 or 13 line that is no good many many people lose their jobs from 1960 to 2020, now i wanna talk about retail its seem like in 1960, start from 6 lin and goes to 10 line in 1980 and this is unexpected thing, and in 2000 its goes 15 line that is awsone and in 2020 its goes 16 line and for my opinion that is so good beasce from 1960 to 2020 its grow so great. now i talk about agriculture its seem not good becuse its normal from 1960 like its has not much growth from 1960 to 2020, in end its goes to 3 line in 2020 its not grow on 1980 and 2000. lets talk about healthcare its start from 3 line but itss growth so good beasue its natural many gtr sick so thats why doctor will recover them, in 1980 it go 5 and 2000 it go 11 line and in 2020 its go 16 that so good and bad good for those who hasnt job as doctor but now they have, and bad for those people who got sick so thiis is overview of this repor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover all four sectors and report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare rising to 16 million by 2020. The broad trends are also mostly recognised: manufacturing declines after its peak, while retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. However, the response does not give a clear, objective overview of the main comparisons. The claim that many people “lose their jobs” is not established by the graph, which shows sector totals rather than reasons for changes. Agriculture is also misreported as reaching 3 million in 2020, rather than about 2 million. Focus on summarising the overall pattern and comparing the sectors without personal reactions or speculation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a recognisable sequence, discussing manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in turn, and time markers such as “in 1960” and “in 2020” help the reader follow the data. However, the writing has no paragraph breaks or distinct overview, so the main message is difficult to identify. Repeated transitions such as “now i wanna talk about” and “lets talk about” make the organisation mechanical, while long strings joined by “and” blur the relationships between figures. Group the information into an introduction, a concise overview and two comparison paragraphs. Use linking language to show contrasts and changes, rather than announcing each sector conversationally.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant terms for describing trends, including “goes,” “come down,” “grow” and “start,” and the reader can generally identify whether a sector rises or falls. However, the vocabulary is limited and repetitive, and several expressions are too informal or evaluative for an academic report: “that is so good,” “unexpected thing” and “not good.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “awsone,” “beasce” and “becuse,” which reduce clarity and control. Build a more precise set of trend verbs and neutral comparison phrases, and check spelling carefully. Describe what the figures show rather than judging whether a change is good or bad.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most of the response uses simple clauses, with occasional attempts to connect ideas using “and,” “but” and “because.” These attempts often produce long, faulty sentences, for example the opening sentence beginning “let me explain first” and the healthcare section ending “so thiis is overview of this repor.” There are frequent problems with subject–verb agreement (“The graph show”), sentence boundaries, capitalisation and punctuation. Verb forms and articles are also inconsistent, as in “it go 5” and “in 2020 its go 16.” These errors sometimes make the relationships between ideas hard to follow. Practise writing short, complete sentences with accurate present-tense verbs, then combine selected ideas using controlled clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.