Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given linegraph illustrates the detaila about the propotion of jobs in the US between 1960 and 2020.

In an overview, the healthcare sector shows an upward trend, whereas the Mnufacturing sector shows an downward trend.

According to the line graph, manufacturing sector started with 15 million jobs in 1960 and rocketted to 1980 by provided 20 million jobs and plummeted to approximately 13 million during 2020.In addition, the retailing sector substantially rosed and intersect with other three sectors in 1980 and shows a gradual rise and reached by crossing manufactring sector at 15 million jobs.

Furthermore,Jobs in the agriculture sector declined from the year, whereas it started with around 7 million workers and readched below 3 million during 1980 and gradually decreased and reach around 1 million at 2020.The Health workers soared from around 3 million to around 16 million. In 1960 the health workers are in range of round 3 million and growed to 5 million during 1980 and climbed crossing retail with around 12 million and rosed to 16 million at 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, while healthcare rises substantially, and agriculture falls. However, the overview is incomplete and partly inaccurate: manufacturing does not show a downward trend across the whole period, since it first rises, and retail’s steady growth and its joint lead with healthcare in 2020 are not summarised. Some details also misreport the graph: retail reaches 10 million in 1980, not a point where it intersects all three other sectors; healthcare is about 11 million in 2000, not 12; and agriculture is about 2 million in 2020. To strengthen the response, give a clearer overview of the main contrasts and check each comparison against the plotted years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and it groups related sectors together. This gives the reader some organisation. However, progression is weakened by long, crowded sentences that combine several years and comparisons, particularly the manufacturing and retail sentence. Linking phrases such as “In addition” and “Furthermore” are used, but the relationships between details are not always clear; for example, the claim that retail “intersect[s] with other three sectors in 1980” is difficult to follow. Separate each sector’s trend into clearer statements, use chronological sequencing consistently, and make comparisons only where the data supports them. This would make the organisation more coherent and reduce the effort needed to interpret the account.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “rocketted,” “plummeted,” “substantially,” “declined,” and “soared,” which shows an effort to describe change rather than repeat basic terms. However, several word choices, forms and spellings are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “propotion,” “Mnufacturing,” “retailing sector substantially rosed,” and “health workers” for jobs in healthcare. “Rocketted” and “plummeted” also overstate or awkwardly describe the plotted changes. These errors make some phrases difficult to interpret and limit precision. Use standard sector names and accurate trend collocations, such as “the number of retail jobs rose steadily” or “agricultural employment declined,” and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses linked with “whereas” and “and,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur in phrases such as “retailing sector … rosed,” “intersect,” “the health workers are,” and “growed.” Articles and sentence boundaries are also problematic: “the manufacturing sector shows an downward trend” has an article error, while “2020.In addition” needs a space and clearer punctuation. These recurring errors sometimes make relationships between events harder to understand, especially in the long sentences describing retail and healthcare. Aim for shorter, complete sentences and use consistent past-tense forms when reporting the historical data; then check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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