Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrats the numbers of jobs in four serctors of the economy namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that, retail and healthcare make incrase while manufacturting and agriculture decrease through out the period.

About manufacturing, in 1960 there have 15 millions have avaliavle in this sector after two dec

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The opening identifies the chart’s subject and time span, and the overview correctly notes that retail and healthcare rise while manufacturing and agriculture fall overall. However, the response stops before presenting a complete summary: the manufacturing sentence ends at “after two dec,” and there are no usable comparisons or figures for the other sectors. The overview also misses key features, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and the fact that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs by 2020. The response is substantially below the required 150 words, leaving the task only minimally addressed. To improve, complete the report with the main changes and selected figures across all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic, recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview beginning “Overall,” and an attempted detail paragraph. This gives the reader some indication of how the response is organised. However, the report has no clear progression beyond the overview because the final paragraph breaks off mid-sentence, and the sectors are not developed in a logical sequence of comparisons. The linking phrase “About manufacturing” signals a topic shift, but no further transitions or comparisons follow. Build two complete detail paragraphs—for example, one comparing manufacturing with agriculture and another comparing retail with healthcare—and use clear links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile” to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “line graph,” “jobs,” “sector,” and the names of all four industries. These choices make the topic identifiable. However, the range is very limited, and several spelling and word-form errors make the writing less clear, such as “illustrats,” “serctors,” “incrase,” and “manufacturting.” The phrase “make increase” is also not a natural way to describe a rising trend, while “have avaliavle” does not communicate the intended idea clearly. Use accurate trend language and check spelling carefully; useful options include “rose,” “declined,” “reached a peak,” and “employed.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few sentence forms, including a complex overview with “while,” and the opening sentence communicates the chart’s general subject. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. In “in 1960 there have 15 millions have avaliavle,” the verb construction is faulty and the sentence does not form a clear statement; “15 millions” also shows an incorrect plural pattern. The overview’s clause “retail and healthcare make increase” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase. The final sentence is incomplete, ending with “after two dec,” so it cannot express a complete comparison. Practise simple, accurate reporting structures first, such as “Manufacturing employed 15 million people in 1960,” then add controlled comparisons using past-tense verbs.

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