Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the employment ration in various industries of the US economy during 1960 to 2020. Overall the healthcare employments soared as compared to the stampede of agricultural industry. The manufacturing industry rose from 1960s to 80s but there was a fall afterwards till 2000. Again it continued to decrease until the jobs were near 16 million. In contrast the retail sector has seen a increase till 1980s. However it kept on climbing up to 15 million jobs in the 2000. Then there's a slight jump up in retails until 2020. There was an increase in healthcare jobs from 1960s to 1980s which estimated as 5 million jobs on the contrary agriculture jumped down to 3 to 4 million jobs only. But in the next two decades the agricultural jobs remained constant with minor decrease. On the otherside healthcare jumped up to 15 million employments. The last decades follow a incline in medical jobs making it to 16 million while the other kept its downward spiral ending it at 2.5 million jobs in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify several important trends, including the rise in healthcare employment and the long-term decline in agriculture. You also report useful figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and retail reaching 15 million in 2000. However, the overview is not fully clear: “healthcare employments soared as compared to the stampede of agricultural industry” does not precisely summarise the main pattern. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing falls to about 13 million by 2020, not “near 16 million,” and agriculture ends at about 2 million rather than 2.5 million. The account of retail’s early rise is also less developed. A clearer overview and more careful checking of endpoint figures would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response includes an opening, an overview-like statement and details about the sectors, so the reader can follow its general subject. However, the progression is difficult to track because trends are presented in a long sequence without clear paragraphing or a consistent comparison structure. For example, the account moves from manufacturing to retail, then back to healthcare and agriculture, before returning to the final years. Linking phrases such as “In contrast” and “However” help in places, but “on the contrary” does not clearly express the relationship between the two trends, and “the other” is an unclear reference. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with a separate overview, would make the organisation more coherent and reduce the stop-start feel.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing change, including “continued to decrease,” “remained constant,” and “downward spiral.” However, several choices are inaccurate or too informal for a data report. “Employment ration” appears to be an incorrect word choice, while “stampede” and “jumped down” do not naturally describe chart trends. “Healthcare employments” and “retails” are also unsuitable forms in this context. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less precise, even though the broad trends remain understandable. Aim for standard collocations such as “number of jobs,” “fell,” and “rose steadily,” and use sector names consistently rather than switching to expressions such as “medical jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including contrast clauses and time references, and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “has seen a increase” needs the article “an,” and “the agricultural jobs remained constant with minor decrease” needs an article before “minor decrease.” The phrase “which estimated as 5 million jobs” is missing a suitable verb structure, such as “which was estimated at 5 million.” There are also awkward tense shifts, including “Then there's” within a past-period report, and punctuation around sentence boundaries could be more controlled. Check each sentence for complete verb patterns and maintain past tense when describing the historical data.

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