Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This chart illustrates the information about the four part including ( Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Heatlhcare ) of US Economy where number of job availability from 1960 to 2020 .

Overall, in healthcare secror provide a job oppertuinity signifinactly increased and the same time retail also rose up.On the otherhand manufacturing have rose up from starting and then slightly down trend and agriculture have showed same fluctuate trend that is similar lower then is static.

In 1960, healthcare sector have given the 3 million of jobs then is rapidly increaseed at then end of period at accounted 16 millon of jobs. Retail have started jobs from 6 million and then significantly rose up reached 16 million and the end of the period by 2020 .

Manufacturing sector contribute 15 million jobs in1960 after that is slightly decreased at 13 million jobs. In 1960, agriculture creats jobs 6 million after that its fluctuated and drop down slightly in 1980 reached 3 million after this trend static same end of the period put in US economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks before declining, and agriculture falls. The overview also recognises that manufacturing starts high and then trends downward, while the body gives several relevant figures, including retail reaching 16 million and agriculture dropping to 3 million by 1980. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 3 million, and manufacturing rises from 15 million to 20 million by 1980 before falling, rather than simply decreasing from its starting point. The description of agriculture as fluctuating is also imprecise; it falls and then remains broadly stable before a small further decline. More precise comparisons and accurate reporting of the key stages would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs of details. It groups the sectors in a generally sensible way, and time markers such as “In 1960” and “by 2020” help readers follow the period. However, progression within sentences is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the overview’s description of agriculture and in “after this trend static same end of the period.” Several ideas are joined mechanically with “and then” or “after that,” and some references, such as “this,” do not clearly identify the trend being discussed. Use clearer sentence boundaries and organise the body around contrasting sector trends to make the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “jobs,” “increased,” “decreased” and “fluctuated,” so the reader can identify the subject and general trends. However, the range and control are limited, with repeated basic expressions such as “after that” and “rose up.” Several word choices or collocations are unnatural, including “job availability,” “provide a job opportunity,” and “put in US economy,” which make some descriptions harder to interpret. Spelling errors such as “Heatlhcare,” “oppertuinity,” “signifinactly” and “millon” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of trend verbs and practise spelling and natural combinations used to describe employment figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control of verb forms and sentence construction is inconsistent. For example, “healthcare sector have given” needs a singular subject and a suitable past form, while “manufacturing have rose up” combines an incorrect auxiliary with an incorrect participle. The sentence beginning “Overall” also lacks a clear grammatical structure, and several clauses are joined without clear punctuation. Articles and prepositions are sometimes missing or misplaced, as in “reached 16 million and the end of the period.” Practise forming accurate past-tense comparisons and separating related trends into complete sentences; this will make your range of structures clearer and more reliable.

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