Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph below illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four specific sector of the economy in the US over a period of four decades.

Overall , retail and healthcare jobs displayed a gradual increase , whereas jobs on agriculture sector depicted a dramatic decrease.

At the beginning of the year, jobs regarding retail sector was more than 5 millions, it then increased to 10 millions in 1980's and 15 millions in the year 2000, the growth slightly slowed down in 2020 while the number was over 15 millions. Healthcare sector also witnessed a increasation on numbers, jobs was increased to 5 millions in 1980's, then it depicted a sharp growth to 10 millions in 1980, 11 millions in 2000, and 16 millions in 2020.

Regarding manufacturing sector , in 1960 the number was 15 millions, the numbers surged to 20 millions in 1980's before declining to 17 millions in 2000 and finally dropped at 13 millions in 2020. In terms of agricultural industry , the number was 6 millions in 1960, the number dropped at 4 millions in 1980 and remained same till 2000 before facing more decline to 3 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and falling employment in agriculture. The manufacturing account also captures its peak in 1980 and subsequent decline. However, the overview is incomplete: it omits manufacturing’s rise and does not highlight that healthcare and retail both finish at about 16 million, the joint highest figures. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture is shown at about 3 million in 1980 and 2000, not 4 million and 4 million, and healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000, not 10 million in 1980. The response is relevant, but a fuller overview and more precise reporting of stages would make the main features clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by details about retail and healthcare, then manufacturing and agriculture. This grouping helps the reader follow the comparisons, and time markers such as “in 1980” and “in 2000” provide a basic sequence. However, some linking is mechanical, with repeated patterns such as “the number… the number” and “then,” while the long sector descriptions sometimes combine several changes without clear separation. The overview also does not prepare the reader for the manufacturing trend. Use clearer topic sentences and vary the links between comparisons—for example, contrast manufacturing’s decline after 1980 with the continued growth in retail and healthcare—to strengthen progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “surged,” “declining,” “sharp growth,” and “remained,” which helps describe changes across the period. Some choices, however, are inaccurate or unnatural for this task: “increasation” is not the appropriate noun, “jobs regarding retail sector” is awkward, and “depicted a dramatic decrease” overstates agriculture’s relatively gradual fall. There are also repeated uses of “number” and “jobs,” limiting flexibility. Aim for precise collocations such as “employment in the retail sector” and “fell steadily,” and choose verbs that match the scale of the change. These improvements would make the description more natural and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “whereas,” “before,” and “while,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, and tense or sentence construction. For example, “four specific sector” needs a plural noun, “jobs… was more than” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “jobs was increased” uses an incorrect passive form. The sentence beginning “At the beginning of the year” also uses an imprecise time reference for a chart covering several decades. Review agreement and article use, and describe chart trends consistently in the past simple. Breaking up the longest sentences would also help you control accuracy while retaining complex structures.

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