Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between the year of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, number of jobs increased with the period of time in health care sector, however it was at around 2 millions in 1960 and it goes up to 16 millions in 2020, Eventually the retail sectors was also increased with the time significantlly.

In the first, in 1960 15 million jobs was in manufacturing and other three sectors was below then 10 million, further in 1980 jobs surged in manufacturing and it goes to 20 million, where Retail sectors was also rased up to 10 million,and Health care was also increased from 2 million to 5 millions in 1980, but Agriculture decreased significantly, it eas 6 million in 1960 but in 1980 it was at 3 millions.

On the other hand, in 2000 and 2020 jobs in Manufacturing sectors was slightly reduced, and comes to 8 millions in the economy in the US, where REtail and Health care surged in 2000 and 2020 both was at 16 millions in 2020, but the Agriculture decreased with the period of time in 2000 it was at 3 million wherever it slighlty reduced again.

In Conclusion, the Manufacturing sector was so high in 1960 but decreased with the period of time, where Retail and Healthcare sectors grows and Agriculture sector goes down.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing falls after reaching a peak. The opening overview also notes healthcare’s increase from about 2 million to 16 million jobs. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing is reported as falling to 8 million, whereas the chart shows about 13 million in 2020; it was around 17 million in 2000. You also say retail and healthcare were both at 16 million in 2020, which is correct, but the comparison would be clearer if you noted that retail overtook manufacturing by 2000. The response covers the task, but several trends and figures need more precise reporting and development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, two detail paragraphs and a concluding statement. It also groups information by time periods, which helps the reader follow the chart. However, progression is weakened by awkward or unclear links, such as “In the first” and “wherever,” and by long sentences that combine several sectors and years without clear boundaries. The overview and conclusion repeat similar points, while the 2000–2020 paragraph is difficult to follow because the figures and comparisons are compressed together. Use clearer topic sentences and separate the main trends into shorter, logically ordered comparisons; use linking expressions only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “surged” and “reduced,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and some choices or forms are inaccurate, including “rased,” “significantlly” and “slighlty.” Phrases such as “increased with the period of time” and “jobs in the economy” are also unnatural or imprecise in this context. Repeated use of “increased” and “decreased” makes the account less flexible. Build a more accurate range of trend language and collocations, such as “rose steadily,” “declined gradually,” and “the number of jobs in manufacturing,” while checking spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “however,” “but” and “where,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence structure and grammatical control are frequent enough to make some passages difficult to interpret. For example, “number of jobs increased with the period of time” lacks an article and uses an incorrect preposition, while “15 million jobs was” has subject–verb disagreement. In “both was at 16 millions,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the sentence structure is incomplete. Several sentences also run together, with punctuation that does not clearly separate ideas. Practise accurate comparisons and past-tense reporting, and divide complex descriptions into complete sentences.

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