Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart tracks the number of employees in four (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) sectors in us from 1960 to 2020. It is measured in millions.
Overall,the retail and healthcare radiply grow at the end of the period. Agriculture jobs are dropping respectively. While manufacturing also decease at end but highest employees workin with manufacturing filed in initially stage.
In 1990, manufacturing has 15 million employees are work . Rose sharply 20 million in 1980 before falling around 13 million in 2020. However agriculture, in 1960 under 5 million vaccancy slightly dropped in 1980 to 2020 around 3 million to 2 million employees.
In contrast,the retail vaccines are in 1960 around 5 million . There are double in 1980 has 10 million again,rose slightly in 2020 at 15 million. While healthcare under 2 million in 1960 to radiply grow in 5 million in 1980 . At the end of the period 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the chart’s subject and period, and your overview captures the broad rise in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in agriculture. You also report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and its fall to about 13 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing begins at 15 million in 1960, not 1990, and retail rises from about 15 million in 2000 to 16 million in 2020 rather than reaching 15 million in 2020. The overview also misses the important comparison that retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million. More precise reporting and clearer coverage of the main comparisons would strengthen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture and then retail with healthcare gives the reader a useful basis for comparison. However, progression within sentences is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in “agriculture… slightly dropped in 1980 to 2020 around 3 million to 2 million.” Some linking is also mechanical or confusing: “In contrast” does not clearly signal the relationship between the two sectors that follow, and “While” introduces incomplete or awkwardly connected ideas. Use clearer time-based sequencing and connect each figure directly to its year so the comparisons are easier to track.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “line chart,” “measured in millions,” “rose sharply,” and “falling,” which helps communicate the general trends. However, inaccurate word choice and spelling sometimes obscure meaning. “Vaccancy” and “vaccines” are not suitable for describing jobs, while “employees workin with manufacturing filed” is difficult to interpret. “Radiply grow” and “decease” also contain spelling or word-form problems. Aim for precise, consistent terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “increased,” and “declined.” Greater control of collocations would make your descriptions clearer and more appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the response is generally recognisable as a description of trends. However, some sentence structures and verb forms are inaccurate, making several comparisons hard to understand. For example, “manufacturing has 15 million employees are work” combines incompatible structures, and “There are double in 1980 has 10 million” does not form a clear grammatical sentence. Tense and agreement also need attention in phrases such as “the retail and healthcare… grow” and “manufacturing… decease.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when describing the historical data.
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