Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph demonstartes the total number of employement across four depatments of economy in USA for 60 years of period.

Overall, the employment opportunities for the healthcare sector and the restail sector were in rise. Althought, the number of jobs increased intially for the manufacturing sector, there was a drastic reduction of job. The agricultural sector experienced an gradual decrease over the time.

To begin with, the available jobs of healthcare sector started at approximately 2 millions and within next 20 years it went to 5 million by the 1980, then 15 million by the end, at 2020. Similarly, Retail sector started at a higher number of jobs than health sector at just above the 5 million, and it showed an upward trend until 2000, after that if remained stable and ended at 16 million job in 2020.

on the other hand, manufacturing sector stat

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant trends: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing first increases before falling. However, the report is incomplete: it stops as you begin discussing manufacturing, so the final trend is not described, and agriculture is mentioned only generally without figures. Some data are also inaccurate: healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000, not 15 million, while retail rises to about 16 million by 2020 rather than remaining stable after 2000. The overview gives a useful broad comparison, but the main features are only partly reported and supported. The response is also four words below the required minimum. To improve, complete the manufacturing comparison and check each stated value against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and a paragraph beginning to describe the sectors. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “To begin with” and “on the other hand” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, the response does not progress to a complete account: the final paragraph breaks off after “manufacturing sector stat,” leaving the comparison unfinished. The body also groups healthcare and retail but does not provide a corresponding completed account of manufacturing and agriculture. Some transitions are awkward or unclear, including “after that if remained stable.” Use separate, complete paragraphs to group rising sectors and declining sectors, and ensure each paragraph develops its point before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “drastic reduction” and “gradual decrease,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors and trends you mean. However, spelling and word-form errors are frequent enough to make the writing look less controlled: examples include “demonstartes,” “employement,” “depatments” and “restail.” Several expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “employment opportunities … were in rise” and “for 60 years of period.” Prefer standard chart-reporting collocations such as “the number of jobs increased” and “over the 60-year period.” Greater accuracy in spelling and more precise phrasing would make your vocabulary more effective and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast clause in “Although the number of jobs increased initially …” and a time sequence in the healthcare description. Meaning is usually recoverable, but grammatical control is uneven. For example, “the employment opportunities … were in rise” has an incorrect construction, and “the available jobs of healthcare sector” is missing a determiner and uses an awkward noun pattern. There are also errors in number and sentence formation, as in “2 millions,” “16 million job,” and the fragment beginning “on the other hand.” The unfinished final sentence further limits the evidence of control. Practise accurate articles, plurals, verb forms and complete sentence boundaries while retaining varied sentence structures.

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