Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates various jobs opportunities in four: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and heathcare sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020 measure in millions.

overall, Retail and healthcare jobs was increased over the time, while others demands were decreased.

in 1960, manufacturing field create 15 millions job, which higher than others. In agriculture nearly 6 millions jobs for p

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and name all four sectors, and your overview correctly notes that retail and healthcare rose while the other sectors declined overall. You also report manufacturing at 15 million jobs in 1960 and agriculture at about 6 million. However, the response stops before describing the remaining years, so it omits the main comparisons and turning points—for example, manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, while retail and healthcare reached about 16 million by 2020. The overview is also too general to convey the final ranking. The response is substantially below the required 150 words, which leaves the task only minimally addressed. Develop the overview and report key figures across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory sentence is followed by an overview and then a detail paragraph. The sequence from the chart’s subject to a general trend and then to a 1960 figure is understandable. However, the response ends abruptly at “for p,” so there is no completed progression through the data or concluding comparison. The linking phrase “while” does connect contrasting trends, but there are too few ideas and transitions to create a clear overall account. Use separate, complete paragraphs for the overview and the main data, and organise the details by time period or by sectors with similar trends. This would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sectors,” “manufacturing,” and “increased,” and the reader can identify the topic. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or forms are inaccurate: “various jobs opportunities” is awkward, “heathcare” is misspelled, and “others demands” does not clearly describe the other sectors’ job trends. “Manufacturing field” is also less precise than naming the sector directly. These errors make parts of the short response difficult to interpret. Build a small set of accurate terms for describing employment figures and trends, such as “number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both a complex sentence—“manufacturing field create 15 millions job, which higher than others”—and a contrast using “while.” However, grammatical control is weak: “jobs was increased” has incorrect subject–verb agreement and verb construction, while “manufacturing field create” uses the wrong tense and lacks an article. The comparison clause “which higher than others” is missing a verb, and “in 1960” should introduce a past-tense description. Most of the writing relies on short, simple patterns, and the attempted relative clause is incomplete. Practise forming accurate past-tense sentences and comparisons, for example, “Manufacturing employed 15 million people, more than any other sector.”

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