Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the total number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sectors from 1960 to 2020 in US.

Overall, jobs in Retail and Healthcare sectors were increased between 1960 and 2020.While jobs from Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors had fallen over coming years.

In 1960, Manufacturing sector had highest number of employment(15 million jobs).When compared to the Agriculture sector there were less number of jobs(6 million) in 1960.When coming to 1980, both Agriculture and Manufacturing sector had significant downfall in their jobs.

When coming to the Healthcare sector, the total number of jobs were 3 million in 1960.When compared to Retail industry, there were nearly 6 million jobs.In 1980, the total jobs in Retail sector accounted for 10 million.Whereas, in Healthcare sector, there were 5 million jobs.In 2020, both the sectors rose significantly having 16 million jobs by increasing the economy of the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and give a relevant overview: Retail and Healthcare rise, while Manufacturing and Agriculture decline overall. You also include several useful figures, such as Manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and Retail at 10 million in 1980. However, coverage is uneven and some details are inaccurate or unclear. Healthcare is reported as 3 million in 1960, rather than about 2 million, and the statement that both Agriculture and Manufacturing had a “significant downfall” by 1980 is misleading: Manufacturing rose to 20 million, while Agriculture fell to 3 million. The account also omits the key 2000 figures and does not describe Manufacturing’s peak and subsequent decline. Select and compare the main changes more accurately to develop the summary fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an overview followed by paragraphs describing the sectors, and the reader can generally follow the time sequence. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “When compared to,” and “In 1980” help signal relationships. However, the organisation is not consistently effective: the body groups sectors inconsistently, and the final paragraph moves between Healthcare and Retail before jumping to 2020. Some transitions are mechanical or awkward, particularly repeated uses of “When coming to” and the sentence beginning “Whereas.” Clearer grouping—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—would create stronger progression. Use comparisons to connect related figures rather than presenting them as separate observations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “employment,” “accounted for,” and “rose significantly,” so the meaning is usually understandable. There is some attempt to vary wording, but several choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph. “Total number of jobs” suggests a combined total, although you are describing individual sectors; “significant downfall” is not an appropriate collocation for a decrease; and “increasing the economy of the country” adds an unsupported interpretation. Repetition of “total number of jobs” and “sector” also limits flexibility. Aim for precise trend language and natural collocations, such as “employment in healthcare,” “declined,” and “reached a peak.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons and clauses introduced by “When compared to.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation recur. For example, “jobs in Retail and Healthcare sectors were increased” should use an active form such as “increased,” while “jobs from Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors had fallen” has an awkward tense and missing articles. “The total number of jobs were 3 million” also has subject–verb disagreement; “number” takes “was.” Several sentences run together after full stops, as in “2020.While,” and spacing around punctuation is inconsistent. Check sentence boundaries and agreement, and use past simple consistently for the historical data.

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