Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectores which effects the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.Overall we can see it flactuated. While Retail and healthcare increased but the manufacturing and the agriculture rose and dropped.

Retail jobs started with a little bit higher than 5 percent at 1960 then the rise began to 10% in 1980 . Again rose to 15 percentage in 2000 and it's peak was a bit higher than 15 percent in 2020.The healthcare followed a bit similar pattern in 1960 higher than 0 percentage which increased to 5 percentage in 1980. The rise followed to more than 10 percentage in 2000 and it's highest point was more than 15 percentage in 2020 like the reatil.

The manufacturing sector started in 1960 with 15 percentage and rose to it's peak in 1980 to 20 percentage which is higher in all four sectors. Then the downfall started and it declined to higher than 15 percentage in 2000. and it's lowest point was lower than 15 percentage in 2020.The Agriculture sector started with a bit higer than 5 percentage in 1960 and dropped to lower than 5 percetange in 1980 and stayed the same till 2000. The lowest point was a higher than 0 percentage in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing eventually falls after peaking. You also include relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing reaching the highest level in 1980 and retail and healthcare ending at similar levels. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: manufacturing does not simply “rise and drop” across the period, and retail and healthcare do not fluctuate; both increase steadily. Several figures are also described imprecisely, and the repeated use of “percentage” misrepresents the chart’s unit, which is jobs in millions. To strengthen the report, give a concise, accurate overview and use the approximate values and units consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs describing the rising sectors and the declining or fluctuating sectors. This makes the information reasonably easy to follow. The grouping of retail with healthcare and manufacturing with agriculture is also logical. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear, particularly “While Retail and healthcare increased but…” and the repeated “The rise followed…” constructions. The overview’s broad statements do not clearly prepare the reader for the more specific trends that follow. Improve progression by using a direct overview, then organise each body paragraph around a clear comparison, with linking phrases that show contrast or sequence accurately.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of trend vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “peak,” and “dropped,” which helps communicate the main movements. However, word choice and spelling errors are noticeable and sometimes make the description less precise. “Flactuated” is both misspelled and inaccurate for the steady rises in retail and healthcare, while “sectors which effects the economy” is an awkward phrase. The repeated use of “percentage” is inappropriate because the graph reports numbers of jobs in millions, not percentages. Aim for precise chart language and check spelling, especially in key terms. More natural alternatives such as “rose steadily” and “reached a peak” would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the reader can generally understand the trends. Some grammatical errors remain, especially in sentence construction and punctuation. For example, “While Retail and healthcare increased but…” combines two contrasting structures incorrectly, and “The rise followed to more than 10…” has an incomplete or faulty verb pattern. There are also problems with sentence boundaries, such as the lowercase “and” after a full stop, and missing spaces after full stops. Possessive forms are inconsistent in phrases such as “it's peak” and “it's lowest point.” Work on forming complete clauses, using accurate verb patterns, and checking punctuation and apostrophes.

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