Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the employment in four different types of sector including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US.

Overall, manufacturing employed the most number of individuals in the years 1960 to 2000, but the rate of employment dropped in the years after 2000 and reached a level where only 13 million jobs are available, and it continued to decline untill 2020. Retail accounts for the second highest number of jobs for individuals, the rate steadily increased and reached its highest point in 2020 with 15 million jobs.

Healthcare is the one sector that shows sudden spike after 1980, and it continued to rise till 2020 when its employment rate is at its peak with almost 15 million jobs. Agriculture sector does not shown any significant changes in its employment rate, in 1960 there were an average of 6 million jobs, the rate was same in 1980 to 2000, it slightly plunged to 3 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and report the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before declining, while retail and healthcare grow and agriculture falls. The overview is relevant, but some comparisons and figures are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing is the largest sector only through 2000; by 2020, retail and healthcare are both about 16 million, above manufacturing at 13 million. You give retail as 15 million and healthcare as “almost 15 million,” which understates their final values. Agriculture falls to about 2 million, not 3 million, in 2020. The account also omits useful intermediate figures, such as manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of the final ranking would make the key features more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a broad overview, and further comments on the sectors. This makes the information easy to follow, and phrases such as “Overall” and “after 2000” help signal the structure. However, the overview combines several details in long sentences, and the links between some ideas are not fully controlled. For example, the manufacturing sentence says employment “reached a level where only 13 million jobs are available” and then adds that it “continued to decline,” making the timing and sequence confusing. The agriculture sentence also joins separate observations with commas. Grouping the main upward trends together and using clearer sentence boundaries would improve progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “employment,” “sector,” “steadily increased,” “spike,” and “plunged,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There are also some imprecise or unnatural choices that limit clarity. “The most number of individuals” is awkward, and “rate of employment” is not the clearest way to describe the number of jobs shown. “Sudden spike” overstates healthcare’s gradual rise after 1980, while “does not shown” reflects a word-form problem. Spelling errors such as “untill” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise chart language, such as “number of jobs,” “rose sharply,” or “remained stable,” and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including clauses with “but,” “when,” and “where,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some grammatical errors remain. In “Agriculture sector does not shown,” the verb form is incorrect; use “does not show” or “the agriculture sector showed.” The phrase “the rate was same” needs an article (“the same”), and “in 1980 to 2000” should be expressed as “from 1980 to 2000.” Several sentences are also joined with commas where a full stop or conjunction would be clearer, particularly in the agriculture description. More consistent control of verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries would strengthen accuracy while preserving your range of structures.

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