Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The data illustrates the amount of employments in four parts of united states economy from1960 to 2020.

Overall, the employments in the healthcare and the retail sector were the highest in 2020. while,the others declined. THe jobs at the manufacturing sector fluctuated the most in 1980.

Jobs at the retail and agriculture sector were just above 5 million. As the time passed ,the retail part increased to the number of jobs just above 15 million.and the agriculture sector decreases to the lowest somewhere between 0 to 5 million employments in 2020.

On ther the other hand the number of employments at the healthcare sector had lowest jobs in 1960 but that gradually in cresed upto jobs same as the retail sector just above 15 million in 2020. While the manufacturing sector faced highest fluctuations in employments about 20 million in 1980 that went down to between 10 to 15 million in 2020.

To conclude, the data shows the fluctuations in the number of jobs in US economy between 1960 to 2020 recording highest growth in retail and agriculture sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several relevant trends, including the rise in healthcare and retail jobs and the fall in agriculture, and you note manufacturing’s peak in 1980. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: healthcare and retail are tied at about 16 million in 2020, rather than simply being “the highest,” and manufacturing does not fluctuate most across the period; it rises and then declines. The conclusion also incorrectly describes agriculture as recording “highest growth,” despite its overall decrease. Some key comparisons are underdeveloped, such as retail’s steady rise versus healthcare’s faster growth after 1980. Select the main trends accurately and support them with clearer comparisons and figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the sectors, so the reader can identify the general topic. However, progression is uneven: the overview is followed by retail and agriculture, then healthcare and manufacturing, while the final “To conclude” repeats or contradicts earlier points rather than synthesising them. Linking words such as “Overall,” “On the other hand,” and “While” show an attempt to connect ideas, but some are awkwardly placed or do not express a clear contrast. For example, “On ther the other hand” interrupts the sentence, and “while,the others declined” is not properly connected. Group related trends and use transitions only where their relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “fluctuations,” “increased,” and “declined,” and the main subject remains understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “amount of employments,” “jobs at the manufacturing sector,” and “highest fluctuations.” Repetition of “jobs” and “number of employments” also makes the description less precise. Spelling and word-form slips, including “in cresed” and “THe,” further reduce control. Use standard chart language and vary it carefully—for example, describe figures as the “number of jobs” and trends as “rose,” “fell,” or “peaked.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning “As the time passed” and “that went down,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “the agriculture sector decreases” and “that gradually in cresed,” where the past-tense reporting context requires consistent forms. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable: “2020. while,the others declined” begins a fragment-like continuation, and “15 million.and” lacks appropriate spacing and punctuation. Articles and prepositions are sometimes awkward, as in “at the manufacturing sector.” These problems occasionally make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise accurate past-tense trend sentences and check each sentence for a complete clause and correct punctuation.

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