Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020. Overall the number of retail jobs and healthcare incrased by the time and the manufacturing jobs which has the highest number in starting flactuate and decrease at the end.

Well the number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased with the passage of time. Like in 1960 the people doing retail jobs were about 5.1 million and in healthcare it was about 2.5 million. As the time passed away in 2020 their is huge gain and now the number of people become almost same in both healthcare and in retail sector which is about 15.1 million almost.

On the other hand the number of people was highest in manufacturing in 1960 which is about 15 million. It gradullay goes to 20 million in 1980 but start decresing rapidly and in 2020 the number of people in manufacturing sector become almost 13 million. Their is also a decrese in agricultural sector in1960 almost 5.1 million people were working their and it decreases as the time pass and in 2020 the number become almost 2.5 million.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall movements: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks before declining, and agriculture falls. The manufacturing figures are reported accurately, and the endpoint comparison between retail and healthcare is relevant. However, some details are imprecise: retail begins at about 6 million, not 5.1 million, and healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020 rather than 15.1 million. Agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5.1 million. The overview also says manufacturing fluctuates, although the graph shows a rise to 1980 followed by a steady decline. To strengthen the response, give a clearer overview of the key ranking changes and describe the main stages of each trend more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This makes the main comparisons reasonably easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” help signal a shift, but “Well” and “Like” are informal or imprecise choices for an academic report, and “As the time passed away” makes the progression less natural. Some references, including “their” and “it,” are unclear, so the reader must infer which sector or figure is meant. Use topic sentences that identify the sectors directly, and connect each figure to a clear time point to make the progression more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreases,” “manufacturing sector,” and “agricultural sector,” so the main trends can be understood. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “huge gain,” “the passage of time,” and “the number of people become almost same.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “incrased,” “flactuate,” “gradullay,” and “decresing,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the report. Aim for precise trend language and standard collocations, for example, “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “reached a similar level.” Check spelling carefully, especially in key descriptive words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the reader can generally understand the comparisons. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with tense, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “the number of jobs … incrased by the time” needs a correctly formed past-tense verb and a more suitable time expression; “their is huge gain” has an agreement error; and “the number … become” should use a past-tense form. The opening phrase “between 1960 to 2020” also uses the wrong preposition pattern. Build accuracy by checking subject–verb agreement and maintaining past tense when describing the completed period, while practising complex sentences with clear clauses and punctuation.

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