Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the given graph provided the details regardings the number of sevices jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the graph contains four sectors including: manufacturing , retail , agriculture and healthcare, in terms ratio , the healthcare gain a high growth throughout while agriculture remaind the lowest number of jobs.

the healthcare were started almost 2 millions of jobs in 1960 grow in to five millions in 1980 and dramaticaly reach up to 15 millionsin 2020 in contrast, agriculture kept going down in 1960 it was around six millions of jobs but gradually it comes to 2 millions in 2020.

Manufacturing were around 15 millions and reach to the peack level about wenty millions in 1980 later slightly , moved down and comes to nearly 13 millions in 2020 while retail sector mantains its grow starts with 6 M in 1960 dramatically, reach up to 15 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and give a relevant overview, noting healthcare’s strong rise and agriculture’s decline to the lowest level. You also report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall from around 6 million to 2 million. However, some details are inaccurate or incomplete: healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and retail rises to about 16 million, not 15 million; its starting point is also given as 6 million. The overview could compare the sectors more clearly, especially that retail and healthcare finish at similar levels. The response is 147 words, three words below the required minimum, so it does not fully meet the task requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic, useful structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the trends. The contrast between healthcare and agriculture, followed by manufacturing and retail, gives the reader some organisation. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is not always clear, and several ideas are joined into long, crowded sentences. For example, the sentence beginning “the healthcare were started” moves from the 1960 figure through 1980 to 2020 without clear punctuation. Linking is also limited, with “while” and “in contrast” doing much of the work. Use separate sentences for each sector or pair, and connect them with precise comparisons such as “By comparison” or “Meanwhile” to make the sequence easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “gain a high growth,” “gradually,” “reach,” and “peak level,” and the sector names are appropriate. The range is nevertheless limited, and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make the report less natural: “regardings,” “sevices,” “dramaticaly,” and “mantains.” Some phrases are also awkward, such as “in terms ratio” and “kept going down.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main trends, but they reduce precision and control. Build a reliable set of trend expressions and use them accurately—for example, “increased steadily,” “declined,” “reached a peak,” and “stood at”—rather than relying on repeated forms of “reach” and “grow.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the response uses past-tense reporting to describe changes over time. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “the healthcare were started,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “it was around six millions … but gradually it comes to 2 millions,” which shifts tense and has an unclear clause structure. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “the healthcare gain” and the long sentence beginning “the healthcare were started.” Practise forming accurate past-tense sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and use full stops to separate trends. Check agreement and number forms before submitting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.