Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The number of emplyments from year 1960 to 2020 in four different segments of the economy in the US is given by the graph below.
In the given graph it can be seen that, manufacturing had highest jobs in year 1960. At the same time, jobs in the healthcare was lowest. Initially jobs in the retail and agriculture were at same level. Main highlight is jobs in Manufacturing.
In year 1960, manufacturing has offered 15 millions jobs. After 20 years, it rose to 20 millions jobs. Then in next 40 years it steadily dropped to around 17 millions and then 13 millions job. Furthermore, retail and agriculture has offered 6 millions jobs. After 20 years in retail jobs rose to 10 millions jobs, where employments in agriculture dropped to 3 millions jobs in year 1980. Most interesting sector is healthcare. Initially it was lowest in the graph. In year 1960, it was at 2 millions jobs. In next 40 year it steadily grew. Finally in year 2020, it reached at same level as jobs in retail.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify several relevant features, including manufacturing’s early lead, healthcare’s low starting point, and the contrasting rise in healthcare and fall in agriculture. Most figures you report match the graph, such as manufacturing rising from 15 million to 20 million before declining to 13 million. However, the overview is incomplete: “Main highlight is jobs in Manufacturing” does not summarise the overall changes, and the response omits retail’s rise to 16 million and agriculture’s final fall to 2 million. The claim that retail and healthcare finish at the same level is accurate, but their shared endpoint could be compared more clearly. To strengthen the report, give a concise overview of the main trends and cover the key end-point comparisons across all four sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph describing figures and changes. The sequence is generally easy to follow, and time markers such as “Initially,” “After 20 years,” and “Finally” help the reader track developments. However, the overview is very brief and does not prepare the reader for the detailed comparisons that follow. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “In year” and “After 20 years,” while “Furthermore” introduces information without making the comparison especially clear. Grouping the sectors by contrasting trends—for example, manufacturing and agriculture versus retail and healthcare—would create stronger progression. Clearer references and more varied transitions would also make the relationships between figures easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “dropped,” “steadily grew,” and “reached,” so the main information is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and some word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate. “Number of emplyments” is both misspelled and unnatural; “number of jobs” is the appropriate phrase. “Manufacturing has offered 15 millions jobs” uses an unsuitable verb, and “same level” could be expressed more precisely as “the same number of jobs.” Repetition of “jobs” and “year” also makes the report less flexible. Build a wider set of accurate expressions for employment figures and comparisons, and check spelling and natural word combinations before submitting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You communicate the main sequence using both simple sentences and some longer structures, such as “After 20 years, it rose to 20 millions jobs. Then in next 40 years it steadily dropped…” The meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and number patterns occur across the response. For example, “manufacturing has offered” and “retail and agriculture has offered” do not use appropriate tense or agreement for past data; “the healthcare was lowest” also has an unnecessary article. Phrases such as “in next 40 year” and “it reached at same level” show problems with grammatical patterns and plurals. Practise consistent past-tense reporting and accurate sentence patterns, while retaining the longer structures you attempt.
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