Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below shows the number of jobs are divided in 4 sectors of the economy in Unites States between 1960 to 2020. Like menufacturing, retail, agriculture, and the last one is health care.

First of all we discuss about the menufacturing jobs in 1960 was 15 million which is the highest one however the retail and healthcare are gradually increasing from low to high. It was 5 million and 3 million. The healthcare is 5 million at that time.

Now, we discuss about the Menufacturing which was 20 million in 1980, and then gradually it fell down. It was around 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Moreover, we discuss about the retail and healthcare. In 1980, the both are increases, the retail was slightly increase 5 milliom to 10 million and healthcare was increases from 2 million to 5 million. They both are increases and in last 2020 around 16 millions jobs are in both sectors.

In last, we discuss about the agriculture which was face falling down. It started from 5 million and last in 2020, it was about 2 million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and its later decline to 13 million, as well as agriculture’s overall fall. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it lacks a clear overview of the main patterns and comparisons. Some figures are inaccurate or inconsistent with the chart: healthcare was about 2 million in 1960, not 3 or 5 million, and agriculture began at about 6 million, not 5 million. You also say retail and healthcare both reached around 16 million in 2020, which is broadly accurate, but do not explain that healthcare rose particularly sharply. A concise overview and more reliable selection of figures would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to manufacturing, then retail and healthcare, and finally agriculture. This gives the reader some organisation, and time references such as “In 1980” and “in 2020” help locate the data. However, progression is weakened by repeatedly announcing “we discuss” and by grouping information in a way that sometimes obscures comparisons. The opening paragraph also repeats sector names without establishing the main trends. Use a clear overview after the introduction, then organise body paragraphs around related trends—for example, declining manufacturing and agriculture versus growing retail and healthcare. More precise linking and fewer repetitive signposts would make the relationships between figures easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant basic terms such as “jobs,” “million,” “increasing,” and “fell,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the vocabulary range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate, which makes parts of the report awkward: “jobs are divided in 4 sectors,” “face falling down,” and “slightly increase” do not express the trends naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “Unites,” “menufacturing,” and “milliom.” Aim for accurate trend language and avoid repeating “we discuss.” For example, describe a figure as rising, declining, peaking, or remaining stable, and use “employment” or “the number of jobs” where appropriate. Proofreading sector names and common data vocabulary would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response relies mainly on simple sentences and has frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and articles. For example, “the number of jobs are divided” has incorrect agreement and an unsuitable passive construction, while “the both are increases” and “healthcare was increases” use incorrect verb forms. The sentence “First of all we discuss about the manufacturing jobs in 1960 was 15 million” combines clauses without a clear grammatical relationship. Some meaning remains understandable, but these recurring problems can make the data difficult to interpret. Practise forming accurate past-tense comparisons, such as “Manufacturing employment stood at 15 million in 1960, then peaked at 20 million in 1980.” Use a wider range of controlled sentence patterns and check agreement and punctuation.

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