Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates some information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

This graph shows the four sectors of US economy, first 1 is manufacturing, second is retail, third and last show the agriculture and healthcare sectores.

Manufacturing is biggest sector of job taker in 1960, 15 million people jobs in manufacturing and 1980 is increased the focuse on individuals and increased 20 millions. In 2000 manufacturing rate decrease and amroximately 14 million jobs. Retail is the second biggest sector of jobs in US, In 1960,6 millions people jobs in retail, in 1980 this jobs seeker people increased 4 millions and total 10 millions in 1980. 2000 years retail is more increased and total individuals 15 millions in retail sector, 2000 to 2020 this rate is increased but very small.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the topic and report some relevant manufacturing and retail figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and retail’s rise to 15 million by 2000. However, the response is incomplete: it gives no account of healthcare or agriculture trends, omits the 2020 manufacturing figure, and does not provide a clear overview of the main changes or comparisons across all four sectors. The statement that retail increased only “very small” is also vague, and the graph shows it reaching about 16 million in 2020. The response is 122 words, below the required 150, which further limits its coverage. To improve, include a concise overview and report the key trends for every sector.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence: an introduction is followed by comments on manufacturing and then retail, and time references such as “In 1960” and “In 2000” help the reader follow the data. However, the response stops before covering all four sectors, so the information does not form a complete, balanced account. Several sentences run together or connect ideas awkwardly, for example, “Manufacturing is biggest sector of job taker in 1960, 15 million people jobs…” The repeated use of “increased” also makes the progression feel mechanical. Organise the report into a clear introduction, an overview of the main trends, and grouped details, using linking phrases to show contrasts and changes over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “sector,” “increased,” “decrease,” and “total,” and the reader can generally identify which industries you mean. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, as in “job taker,” “people jobs,” “jobs seeker people,” and “this rate is increased.” There are also spelling errors, including “sectores,” “focuse,” and “amroximately.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow and limit the precision of the data description. Build a more reliable set of chart-reporting phrases, such as “employed,” “the number of jobs,” “rose to,” and “declined to,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and some basic time references are understandable. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed, which makes several details hard to interpret. For example, “Manufacturing is biggest sector of job taker in 1960” lacks an article and has an unclear grammatical construction; “1980 is increased” uses an incorrect verb form; and “In 2000 manufacturing rate decrease” has inconsistent tense and sentence structure. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, particularly where sentences are joined with commas. Practise forming complete past-tense sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use articles and plural forms accurately. A wider range of controlled sentence patterns would make the comparisons clearer.

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