Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This graph illustrate the number of jobs divided in four sectors of economy in US between 1960 to 2020.
In this graph,the jobs of manufacturing,retail,healthcare and agriculture are described and the rate on increasing and decreasing is also mentioned.The average of every single field is different from other.
From 1960 to 2020, the rate of manufacturing is basically high.And in retail, the average of jobs is basically low in 1960 and it get basically high as it go far ,like it go to 15% in 2020.In healthcare,the number of jobs are very low in 1960 and the average is 0% and in 1980 it goes to 5% and in 2000 it goes to 10% and in 2020 it goes to high average of 15%,the average is high gradually.The number of jobs in agriculture are totally low in 1960 the highest average is 5% then it goes down to 0% in 1980,2000,2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify all four sectors and make some relevant observations, such as manufacturing being high and healthcare rising over time. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it lacks a clear overview of the main changes and comparisons, and several figures or descriptions are inaccurate. For example, manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980 before falling, rather than simply remaining high. Healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 0%, and agriculture falls from about 6 million to around 2 million, rather than reaching zero. Retail rises to about 16 million by 2020, not 15% as stated. Focus on jobs in millions, select the major trends, and report the key comparisons accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response follows a basic sequence, introducing the graph and then discussing the sectors, so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the ideas do not develop in a clear overall progression: there is no distinct overview, and the sector-by-sector comments are joined in long, crowded sentences. Phrases such as “And in retail” and repeated uses of “the average” do little to show how the trends relate to one another. Separate the introduction, overview, and detailed comparisons into paragraphs. Use clear links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile” to compare sectors, and make each sentence focus on one trend or comparison.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
Your vocabulary is sufficient to name the sectors and describe basic movement, using words such as “high,” “low,” “goes down,” and “gradually.” However, the range is limited and repetitive, and some choices are unsuitable for describing this graph. “Average” is repeatedly used where you mean the number of jobs, while “15%” and “0%” incorrectly present the figures as percentages rather than millions. Phrases such as “the rate on increasing and decreasing” are also unclear. Use precise chart language, including “number of jobs,” “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and consistently describe values in millions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with time clauses, so there is some variety. However, control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences, and errors sometimes make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “This graph illustrate,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “it get basically high as it go far,” which has incorrect verb forms. “The number of jobs … are” also has a singular-plural agreement problem. Sentence boundaries and spacing after commas need attention, as several ideas run together. Practise accurate present-tense descriptions of trends and use shorter sentences when reporting several years or figures.
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