Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrate information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

It can be seen that, In 1960 the,manufacturing sector began from 15 million and increase sharply in 1980 with the highest position and have average change in 2020 at the 13 million.There is moderate change in Agricultural sector because at the beginning it began from 6 million and in 2020 it lies on 2 million. While Retail sector has increased sharply because it began from just 5.5 million in 1960 and in 2020 it lies on 16 million. The healthcare sector increases dramatically between these years because its began from just 2 million and end at 16 million in. 2020.

In conclusion, it can be seen that manufacturing sector has fell in 2020 according to 1960 While, Retail sector increase sharply and the agriculture sector fell dramatically , Healthcare sector incrase sharply between 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and report several central trends: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, agriculture falls overall, and retail and healthcare rise. You also include relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million initially and healthcare at 2 million. However, the overview is not clearly separated from the details, and some comparisons are incomplete: for example, retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, a useful endpoint comparison you could highlight. The description of manufacturing’s later level is unclear, and agriculture’s decline is called “dramatic” despite being comparatively gradual. The response is 139 words, below the required 150, so it also needs fuller reporting of the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph, describes the sectors, and ends with a concluding summary. This gives the reader some overall organisation, and contrast markers such as “While” help distinguish trends. However, the body is largely one long paragraph, and the conclusion repeats points already made rather than providing a distinct, concise overview. Linking is sometimes awkward or mechanical, particularly the repeated “because” and “between 1960 to 2020”; the relationship between ideas is not always clear. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with a separate overview, would create clearer progression. Use paragraph breaks and more precise references to years and sectors to make the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the broad trends, including “increased sharply,” “fell,” and “highest position,” and the sector names are generally clear. However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a line graph. “Average change” does not clearly describe manufacturing’s decline, while “lies on” is an awkward way to report a final figure. Repetition of “sharply” and “began from” also limits flexibility, and spelling errors such as “incrase” reduce accuracy. Choose verbs that distinguish rising, falling, peaking, and remaining stable, and use standard collocations such as “stood at” for figures. This would make the account more precise without requiring overly complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the reader can generally understand the intended trends. However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “The graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, and “manufacturing sector began from 15 million and increase sharply” shifts incorrectly between verb forms. The sentence beginning “It can be seen that, In 1960 the,manufacturing…” also contains confusing punctuation and capitalisation. Some clauses are joined awkwardly, as in “because its began from just 2 million and end at 16 million in. 2020.” Practise writing shorter, complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs, then combine ideas only when the grammatical links are clear.

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