Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The provided graph compares the employment opportunities in the United States across four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare from the year 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the retail and the healthcare shared the highest amount of employee involved to these sectors. In contrast,the rate of the agriculture showed the lowest proportions.

First of all, 15 millions people were involved in the manufacturing sector in the year 1960, and rose a peak at 20 millions in 1980. But then it gradually declined over the period and finished in almost 12 millions in 2020. Then, the retail and agriculture the year 2020 and retail increased significantly to 16 millions,

Therefore, around 6 millions people involvedin healthcare jobs in 1960. Hence it rose substantially and arrived at 16 millions same as retail sectors proved that those were the most promising sectors in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and give a relevant overview by noting that agriculture had the lowest employment and that retail and healthcare were prominent by 2020. You also report manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and subsequent decline, and healthcare’s growth. However, the overview is unclear about how the leading sectors changed over time, and several key details are missing or inaccurate: retail began at about 6 million and rose to 16 million, while agriculture fell from 6 million to 2 million; neither trend is properly described. The sentence about retail and agriculture in 2020 is incomplete, and healthcare is incorrectly said to start at 6 million rather than about 2 million. The response is also 10 words below the required minimum. Include a clearer overview and cover all four trends accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: an introduction is followed by an overview and then details, and words such as “Overall,” “But then,” and “Therefore” attempt to guide the reader. However, progression is difficult to follow because the body does not consistently group or compare the series. The sentence “Then, the retail and agriculture the year 2020…” is incomplete, leaving the reader unsure what comparison is intended, while “Therefore” introduces healthcare without a clear logical link. Some transitions also suggest relationships that are not explained. Use one paragraph to compare manufacturing and retail, and another for agriculture and healthcare, with complete sentences and clear time references. This would make the organisation more coherent and reduce the need for the reader to infer connections.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “declined,” “substantially,” and “proportions,” and the main subject is generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “employment opportunities” for the number of jobs, “highest amount of employee,” and “most promising sectors.” “Proportions” is also not the right term for comparing job totals. There are noticeable form and spacing problems, including “15 millions” and “involvedin,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the description. Prefer precise chart language such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose to,” and “had the highest figures.” Check plural forms and spacing carefully, and avoid evaluative claims such as “promising” that the graph does not support.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “But then” and a result clause beginning “Hence.” However, control is inconsistent, and several errors make parts of the report difficult to understand. The opening sentence has an unmatched parenthesis and an incorrect time construction (“from the year 1960 and 2020”). In “the retail and the healthcare shared,” the subject and verb do not agree naturally, while “rose a peak” is missing a necessary grammatical element. The sentence beginning “Then, the retail and agriculture…” is incomplete, and “those were the most promising sectors” has an unclear reference. Use complete clauses, maintain consistent past tense, and check articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries. More accurate sentence patterns would make your comparisons much clearer.

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