Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below illustrates the difference about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall. manufacturing has a large numbers of job in 1960 and 1980 then number decrease dramatically. The number of jobs in healthcare and retail are significantly increase between [redacted phone]. But, number of jobs in agriculture are significantly decrease.

Firstly, in manufacturing has a 15 millions jobs in 1960 and after 20 year 20 millions jobs in manufacturing. But, after this number of jobs in manufacturing dramatically decrease and now only 13 millions jobs in manufacturing. Furthermore, 6-millions jobs in retail at 1960 but, these jobs are significantly increase in retail now in 2020 16 millions jobs in retail.

Secondly, healthcare has only 2 millions jobs in 1960 then number of jobs in heathcare are significantly increase 5 millions in 1980, 11 millions in 2000 and now in 2020 16 millions jobs in healthcare. Furthermore number of jobs in Agriculture are significantly decrease in 1950 6 millions jobs in agriculture but, in 2020 only 2 millions jobs remaining in agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and give a clear overview: manufacturing peaks before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. Most reported figures match the graph, including manufacturing’s 15 to 20 to 13 million and healthcare’s rise from 2 to 16 million. However, the overview could identify the important comparison at the end: retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs in 2020, while agriculture is the smallest sector. Some details are less fully reported: retail’s intermediate values and agriculture’s fall to 3 million by 1980 are omitted. Also, “in 1950” is inaccurate; the chart begins in 1960. More precise coverage of these comparisons would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. “Firstly” and “Secondly” help signal the move between groups of sectors, and the information is generally understandable. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes mechanical: “Furthermore” is used to add another series even when a clearer comparison or transition would help. The repeated “number of jobs in…” phrasing also makes the account feel list-like, and some links are awkward, such as “But, after this number…”. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, then comparing their endpoints, would create a more logical flow and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increase,” “decrease,” “dramatically,” and “remaining,” so the main changes are clear. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “number of jobs” and “significantly increase/decrease.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “difference about the number,” “a large numbers of job,” and “jobs are significantly increase.” “Healthcare” is also misspelled once as “heathcare.” These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the data, but more precise trend language and accurate collocations would improve the report’s fluency and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms are frequent enough to make the writing noticeably inaccurate. For example, “Overall. manufacturing has a large numbers” has faulty punctuation and agreement, while “The number of jobs in healthcare and retail are significantly increase” combines incorrect agreement with an incorrect verb form. Phrases such as “in manufacturing has” and “in 2020 16 millions jobs” also lack a sound grammatical structure. Practise forming complete clauses, using past-tense verbs for the historical data, and checking singular/plural agreement. More accurate sentence patterns would make your comparisons easier to follow.

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