Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

During the year 1960, healthcare and retail had a quite similar graph with around 2 million and 6 millions jobs respectively. Going forward, both of them gradually started arising and in 1980 retail reached 10 million jobs and healthcare reached 5 million and this trend only continued until 2000 and 2020 with retail reaching 15 million in 2000 and healthcare crossing 10 million and finally in 2020 retail and healthcare both crossed the 15 million mark and ended at the same amount of jobs.

As for manufacturing and agriculture, as the years went by and technology kept developing, both of them started to decline.

For the year 1960, Agriculture had around 5.5 million jobs and manufacturing had 15 million. During the year 1980 manufacturing peaked with 20 million and Agriculture only declined to around 3 million. As the years went by, manufacturing also started to decline and was down to around 16 million during the year 2000 and Agriculture remained about the same. However, to the years leading to 2020 they both only declined with both manufacturing and agriculture reaching an all time low of around 14 million and 2 million jobs respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture falls and manufacturing peaks before declining. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare at about 5 million. However, some details are imprecise or incorrect: manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020, rather than around 16 and 14 million; retail and healthcare finish at about 16 million each, so saying they “crossed” 15 million is less precise than stating their endpoint. The overview is implied through the sector-by-sector account rather than clearly summarised. A concise overview highlighting the crossover and the final tie would make the key comparisons clearer and more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a generally logical order, grouping the two rising sectors before discussing manufacturing and agriculture. Time markers such as “in 1980,” “during the year 2000,” and “leading to 2020” help readers follow the sequence. However, the first paragraph is a long sentence that carries several years and figures, making the progression harder to track. Phrases such as “this trend only continued” and “As the years went by” are repetitive, and the final paragraph does not clearly distinguish the overall trends from individual data points. Use shorter sentences, clearer comparisons between sectors, and a separate overview to create smoother progression and less mechanical linking.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaked,” “decline,” “reached,” and “remained about the same.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the meaning is generally clear. Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural for graph description: “started arising” is not a natural way to describe an increase, “had a quite similar graph” confuses the graph with the figures, and “crossed the 15 million mark” does not accurately describe values that ended at about 16 million. “All time low” is also less suitable when simply reporting the lowest point shown. Choose precise trend verbs and collocations, such as “rose,” “stood at,” and “fell to,” and avoid conversational phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while,” “as,” and “however,” and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors and awkward constructions are present. For example, “During the year 1960” is an unnatural time phrase, while “both of them gradually started arising” has an unclear subject and verb construction. In “retail and healthcare both crossed … and ended,” the sentence would be clearer with a direct subject-verb structure and a precise endpoint. There are also number and article issues in phrases such as “6 millions jobs” and “an all time low.” Aim for more controlled sentence lengths, consistent past-tense reporting, and accurate plural forms; this will help your complex sentences read more naturally.

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