Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates number of occupations across four sectors of economy from 1960 to 2020 in the United states.

Overall, these four mentioned sectors have shown a variation.Healthcare has shown a notable increase along with retails that has gained popularity over the period of 60 years.

Manufacturing sector that claimed to have 15 million jobs in 1960 increased to 20 million in 1980 at its peak and showed a decline till 2020. In addition opportunites in agriculture sector faced decline from approximately 6 millions in 1960 to less than 3 millions in 2020.

On the other hand, retail sectors produced increasing numbers of jobs from approximately 6 millions in 1960, projecting at 10 millions in 1980 and making around 15 millions jobs in 2000. Healthcare sector showing a rapid growth between these years has increased fom less than 3 millions job in 1960 to 5 millions in 1980 and doubling its numbers by 2000 has now reached more than 15 millions employements in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, while retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. The figures you give for manufacturing and the earlier retail and healthcare points are generally consistent with the graph. However, the overview is quite general, and the final positions are not fully reported: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, while healthcare also reaches about 16 million and catches up with retail. Agriculture ends at about 2 million, rather than simply “less than 3 million.” The claim that retail “gained popularity” is also less precise than describing job numbers. To make the key features more complete, state the 2020 comparison clearly and summarise which sectors were largest and smallest at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This gives the reader a coherent overall route through the information. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. “In addition” does not clearly explain the relationship between the manufacturing and agriculture trends, while “On the other hand” introduces retail and healthcare without a strong contrast to the preceding information. The overview is also compressed into one sentence, and the final paragraph combines two series in a long sentence. Use clearer grouping—for example, declining sectors together and growing sectors together—and make each comparison explicit to improve progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “increased,” “at its peak,” “decline,” “rapid growth,” and “approximately.” These choices help describe changes over time, and the meaning is generally clear. Some expressions are imprecise or do not collocate naturally: “occupations” is less suitable than “jobs,” “gained popularity” describes public preference rather than employment numbers, and “projecting at 10 millions” is not a natural way to report a figure. There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as “opportunites,” “employements,” and “fom.” Aim for precise chart language and check spelling; alternatives such as “rose to,” “fell to,” and “employment” would make the account more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while” and participial phrasing such as “doubling its numbers by 2000.” The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “The graph illustrates number” needs an article, and “these four mentioned sectors” has an awkward modifier structure. Plural and agreement patterns are also inconsistent in “6 millions” and “Healthcare sector showing a rapid growth … has increased”; the latter needs a clearer finite-clause structure. Punctuation spacing is uneven, as in “variation.Healthcare.” Build accuracy by checking articles, singular/plural forms, and complete clauses, while keeping complex sentences shorter when reporting several figures.

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