Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph below illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs related to healthcare and retail sectors increased gradually and then met at the same point at almost above to 15 in 2020.On the other side, in agricultural field the numbers of jobs decreased substantially between 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, various employment facilities were available at specifically in manufacturing sectors with the highest amount of numbers than others like 15 millions in 1960 and at the peak in 1980 and after that fell gradually and reached at lowest phase in 2020. Moreover, both healthcare and retail institutes provided jobs for unemployed people in 1960 with thedifferent amount of numbers that from 2 to 6 and considerably increased between 1980 to 2020 with almost similar amount that at last met with each other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between rising employment in healthcare and retail and falling employment in agriculture, and you note manufacturing’s peak in 1980. However, the overview is incomplete and partly inaccurate: healthcare and retail do not both rise gradually, and by 2020 they are approximately equal at 16 million, not “almost above to 15.” The report also omits key comparisons, including retail’s steady rise and manufacturing’s decline after 1980, and gives few accurate figures beyond the starting manufacturing value. The response is 132 words, below the required 150, which limits the detail available. Add a concise overview and support it with the main turning points and end values.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, with an introduction, an overview and a final paragraph containing details. The reader can follow the general intention, and “Overall” and “Moreover” provide some signposting. However, the progression is limited: the final paragraph combines several sectors and time periods in a long, crowded sentence, while the overview repeats ideas that are then revisited without clear organisation. Phrases such as “On the other side” do not establish the contrast precisely, and the relationship between the figures is sometimes difficult to follow. Group the information into clear comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture in one paragraph, and retail and healthcare in another—and use linking expressions to show changes over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “peak” and “gradually,” so the main trends are generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, such as “employment facilities,” “agricultural field,” “amount of numbers” and “lowest phase.” These expressions make the description less precise and occasionally slow the reader. Prefer standard chart language such as “jobs,” “sector,” “figure,” “rose to,” “declined to” and “reached a low.” Also avoid repeating “number of jobs” where a clear reference such as “employment” or “the figure” would work. More accurate, natural phrasing would improve clarity without requiring overly complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the overall meaning can usually be understood. However, complex sentences are often poorly controlled, as in “Moreover, both healthcare and retail institutes provided jobs … with thedifferent amount of numbers that from 2 to 6,” where sentence structure and punctuation obscure the comparison. There are also recurring errors in articles, prepositions, agreement and sentence boundaries: “between 1960 to 2020” should use “between … and,” and “reached at lowest phase” lacks a well-formed verb pattern and article. Spacing and punctuation are inconsistent, including missing spaces after full stops. Use shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses only when their structure is secure.

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