Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The provided line graph gives us information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone].

Overall on Y-axis it ranges from 0 to 25 jobs in millions, where manufacturing goes from 15 point in 1960 and hits 20 in 1980, while at 2020 it goes below and reaches 14.7. secondly, retail from point 5.1 goes from 1960, and stops at 15.1 at 2020. While the agriculture goes from 5.1 in 1960 and in 1980 to 2000 it goes in same direction while at 2020 it goes a little below. Lastly, healthcare in 1960 goes from it point of 0.4 at 1980 it meet at point 5, while at 2000 it meets at point 10, howover, at 2020 goes to 15 point and achieve it targets.

Overall the graph gives information about different industries at different point of jobs in millions and the graph is very informative.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the four sectors and gives some figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and healthcare’s rise to about 15 million by 2020. However, it only partially reports the graph’s main features: the overview does not clearly compare the sectors, and important trends are missing or inaccurate. Retail rises from about 6 million to 16 million, not from 5.1 to 15.1, while healthcare starts at about 2 million in 1960, not 0.4. Agriculture declines overall, rather than remaining in the “same direction.” The final statement that the graph is “very informative” does not summarise data. The response is also 11 words below the 150-word minimum; develop the comparisons and overview to meet the requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and using “Overall,” “secondly,” and “Lastly” to move between sectors. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview is mixed with detailed figures, and the final “Overall” repeats a general statement rather than drawing together the main trends. Some links are awkward or incomplete, such as “While the agriculture…” and “at 1980 it meet at point 5.” Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together would create a clearer sequence. Use paragraphing to separate a concise overview from the supporting comparisons, and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “line graph,” “ranges,” “reaches,” and “goes below,” so the reader can recognise that it is describing changes over time. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “stops at 15.1,” “goes in same direction,” and “achieve it targets.” Repetition of “point” also makes the account less precise. Choose verbs that describe trends accurately: for example, retail “rose” and agriculture “declined,” while manufacturing “peaked” before falling. Use “million jobs” consistently when reporting values. These improvements would make the descriptions clearer without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, but control is uneven. Errors in sentence construction and verb forms appear in examples such as “retail from point 5.1 goes from 1960,” “at 1980 it meet,” and “the agriculture goes from 5.1.” The sentence beginning “While the agriculture…” is also a fragment, and the long healthcare sentence joins several stages without clear grammatical structure. Articles and prepositions are sometimes missing or awkward, as in “about number of jobs” and “at 2020.” Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and keep past-tense reporting consistent: for example, “Healthcare rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.”

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