Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This line graph illustrates number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone],They mainly show the Manufacuring,Retail,Agriculture, Healthcare jobs.In 1960 they are 15 millions jobs in Manufacturing then they escalate in 20 millions job. They also the retail job there are 5 million jobs they escalate in 10 then 15 then they are even so in the same path.The next one is agriculture job they addition on 5 millions job then they diminish in 1980 then they are even so the same path or evidently show the same vision. The last job in 1960 is Healthcare they start with 0 jobs and then escalate 5 millions or much more however they show the 11,12 millions jobs and then they escalate the 15 millions more. They Evidently show the graph of how job sector economy in the US in [redacted phone].
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response identifies all four sectors and attempts to describe changes over time, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million and subsequent decline, and growth in retail and healthcare. However, it gives no clear overview of the main features and several figures or trends are inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not zero, and reaches about 16 million, while retail ends at about 16 million rather than remaining unchanged. Agriculture falls from about 6 to 2 million, but the description is unclear. The response is also below the required 150 words: 131 words were counted, with 14 copied from the prompt excluded. Add a concise overview and report the key comparisons accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response follows a basic chronological sequence and uses transitions such as “The next one” and “The last,” so the reader can recognise an attempt to cover each sector. However, the information is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear overview or grouping of related trends. Several links are difficult to follow, particularly “they are even so in the same path” and “the same vision,” which do not clearly explain what happened. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, including the comma splice after the opening sentence. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and focused detail paragraphs, and use precise linking phrases to show rises, falls, and comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The response uses relevant basic terms such as “jobs,” “Manufacturing,” “Retail,” and “Agriculture,” and attempts trend vocabulary with “escalate” and “diminish.” However, the vocabulary is repetitive and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Escalate” is not the usual verb for a rising figure, while “even so in the same path” and “the same vision” do not communicate a clear trend. There are also spelling and form errors, including “Manufacuring.” Use a wider set of precise chart terms—such as “increase,” “decline,” “remain stable,” and “reach”—and name the figures or endpoints to make comparisons clearer.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts to connect ideas with “then” and “however,” but most sentences rely on simple, repetitive patterns, and frequent grammatical errors make some relationships unclear. For example, “This line graph illustrates number of jobs” is missing an article, and “In 1960 they are 15 millions jobs” has problems with tense, agreement, and plural form. The sentence “They also the retail job there are 5 million jobs” lacks a complete verb structure. Punctuation is also weak: the opening sentence runs into the next, and capitalisation is inconsistent. Practise complete subject–verb sentences, use past tense consistently for the historical data, and check articles and singular/plural forms.
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