Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the graph illustrates that information about the number of jobs from 1960 to 2020. in 1960 Manufacturing was highly ranked among the Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. even after 20 years Manufacturing increased by Five Million jobs, in 1980 while Agriculture decreases the Number of Jobs the other three sectors Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare increased, From the year gap between 1960 up to 1980 in the graph tells us that the job in agriculture not needed compared to the other sectors in US, Agricultre is Not the main reason economy growth, at That time in 1980 the main sector of economy impact in US is Manufacturing, Retail and Healthcare in particlar order but in the late of 2000 Manufacruring slowly decreasing its impact while Retail and Healthcare increasing quicky and showing a good impact in the economy, in 2020 Healtcare and Retail are the main sectors of the economy in US. To Summarising the Graph in the 1960 Agriculture is The main source of Jobs and was increasing untill 1980, but from 1980 to 2020 it decreased the only two increased sectors were Manufacturing and Retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant broad movements, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak and later decline, and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, some key information is inaccurate: agriculture was not the main source of jobs in 1960; manufacturing was highest, at about 15 million, while agriculture and retail were both around 6 million. Your final summary also says manufacturing and retail were the only sectors to increase, although healthcare rose substantially and manufacturing fell overall from 1980 to 2020. The claim that agriculture was “not needed” is an unsupported interpretation rather than a description of the graph. A clearer overview and accurate comparisons across all four sectors would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response contains a sequence of time references, moving from 1960 to 1980, then 2000 and 2020, so the reader can follow the general period being discussed. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with several ideas joined by commas and few clear transitions. The sentence beginning “in 1980 while Agriculture decreases” combines a trend with an unsupported explanation, making the relationship between points unclear. The concluding “To Summarising” repeats information but introduces a contradiction about which sectors increased. Organise the report into a brief overview and logically grouped details, and use linking phrases to show contrasts and changes without overloading sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant terms, such as “increased,” “decreasing,” “sectors,” and “impact,” to describe changes and comparisons. However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or unnatural for reporting data. For example, “highly ranked” is not a natural way to say that manufacturing had the most jobs, while “not needed” and “good impact” make unsupported judgements rather than describing figures. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “Agricultre,” “Manufacruring,” and “quicky,” which reduce clarity. Use precise trend vocabulary and neutral expressions, such as “recorded the highest employment” and “rose steadily,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “while” and “but,” but these structures are often difficult to control. The opening lacks a capital letter and a clear grammatical construction (“the graph illustrates that information”), and the sentence beginning “in 1980 while Agriculture decreases” has an unclear clause structure and inconsistent tense. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “Five Million” and “To Summarising,” and commas frequently join complete ideas without appropriate punctuation. These errors sometimes make the intended comparisons hard to follow. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical relationship is clear.

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