Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors of US economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare,between 1960 t 2020. the figures are given in millions.

Overall, the manufacturing has the highest number of jobs frmost of the period although it decline after 1980. In contrast, retail and healthcare experienced significant growth. Agriculture was the only sector which show deline overall.

In 1960 manufacturing provides about 15 million jobs,compared with 6 million in retail and 5 million in agriculture. Healyhcare had the lowest account about 2 million.By 1980 manufacturing increased to nearly about 20 million jobs making it the largest sector. retail also rose to about 10 million. while healyh care reached around 4.5 million. However, agriculture fell to reached around 2.5 million.

In 2000 the number of manufacturing jobs dereased slightly to about 17 million. whereas, retail and healthcare roses to about 14.5 and10.5 million respectively By 2020, manufacturing fallen further to about 12.5 million jobs. meanwhile, retail and healthcare both reaches to about 15 million jobs, becoming the largest sector. agriculture decline only about 1 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls overall. The overview is relevant, and the body includes comparisons across all four years, with figures generally close to the chart. However, some details are inaccurate: agriculture is about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and about 2 million in 2020, not 1 million. Healthcare is about 5 million in 1980, rather than 4.5 million. The claim that manufacturing has the most jobs for “most of the period” also needs qualification, since retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, above manufacturing at roughly 13 million. More precise reporting of these comparisons would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data chronologically. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and transitions such as “In contrast,” “By 1980,” and “In 2000” help signal comparisons and time changes. Some linking is less controlled, however. For example, “whereas” and “meanwhile” are used with awkward punctuation, and “while” begins a fragment-like continuation after the retail figure. The final paragraph also places several comparisons in a long sequence without consistently separating them. Use full stops and commas more carefully, and group related trends into complete sentences to make cohesion smoother and less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “increased,” “fell,” “decline,” “compared with,” and “reached,” so the trends are generally understandable. There is some variety in how changes are described, but inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations reduce precision: “deline,” “dereased,” “roses,” and “Healyhcare” are noticeable, while “lowest account” and “fell to reached” are not natural expressions. Repetition of “about” and “jobs” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate, conventional combinations such as “the lowest figure,” “fell to,” and “rose to,” and proofread spelling. More precise vocabulary will help distinguish a sector’s employment level from the change in that level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including comparisons and time clauses, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors in verb forms and agreement occur across the response: “The line graph illustrate,” “manufacturing provides,” “agriculture … show,” and “both reaches” need corrected agreement or tense. Past-tense reporting should be consistent, for example, “illustrates” in the introduction but “provided,” “showed,” and “reached” for the historical data. Some sentence boundaries and punctuation are also faulty, as in “retail also rose to about 10 million. while…” and the run-on sequence beginning “whereas, retail…”. Check subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms, and sentence boundaries to improve accuracy while retaining your range of structures.

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