Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This graph represents the number of jobs in four different sectors in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the total number of jobs combining these four sectors have increased as compare to 1960, while there is a decrease in jobs for Manufacturing and Agriculture, but there is a drastic increase in the number of jobs in the sector of Retail and Healthcare.

The manufacturing and agriculture have a decline in this period of time, but they both follow a different pattern. For manufacturing it was about 15 million jobs in 1960, it slightly got up in 1980 and reached to 20 million and then started to decline constantly and dropped to about 13 million in 2020, whereas the retail have just decreased constantly from 5 million in 1960 to about 3 million in 2020.

The increase in number of jobs for Retail and healthcare is almost constant throught the period, but still health care is more surprising as it started with just 2 million in 1960 and have ended up with same number in 2020 as the retail which is about 16 million. In 1960 the manufacturing was at the top but in 2020, retail and healthcare clearly surpassed it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between declining manufacturing and agriculture and growing retail and healthcare, and you include several relevant figures. However, a key trend is misreported: retail did not decline from about 5 million to 3 million; it rose from around 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. The description of agriculture as declining is broadly accurate, but its figures are confused with retail. Your overview also says manufacturing decreased, although it first rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980, and the claim that total jobs increased is not clearly supported with a comparison. To strengthen the response, check each series carefully and summarise the main turning points and final rankings accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing trends. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and contrasts such as manufacturing’s early lead versus the 2020 leaders are useful. However, progression is weakened by grouping retail with agriculture in one paragraph and then discussing retail again in the next. The inaccurate retail description also makes the comparison difficult to follow. Some linking is repetitive or awkward, particularly repeated uses of “but” and “whereas.” Organise the body by clear trend groups—declining agriculture, manufacturing’s rise and fall, and the two growing sectors—and use references such as “this sector” only when the referent is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “decline,” “reached,” “dropped,” “increase,” and “surpassed.” These choices help communicate the main movements, and the sector names are generally clear. Some wording is imprecise or unnatural, however: “drastic increase” overstates the trend, “got up” is informal, and “the retail” is not the natural way to name the sector. “Almost constant” also does not accurately describe the changing growth shown for retail and healthcare. Aim for precise trend language and standard collocations, such as “rose steadily,” “peaked at,” and “fell to.” Check that the vocabulary used to describe a series matches its actual direction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including longer comparisons with “while,” “whereas,” and “as.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the total number of jobs … have increased” has subject–verb disagreement, and “as compare to 1960” uses an incorrect verb form. In “health care … started with … and have ended up,” the tense and agreement are inconsistent. Several long sentences join multiple trends, making control less secure; the sentence beginning “For manufacturing it was about 15 million” is especially difficult to manage. Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, and divide complex comparisons into shorter, accurately punctuated sentences.

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