Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided line graph illustrates data about millions of jobs in four sectors (Manufacturinf, retail, agriculture.healthcare) of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail saw an upward trend, agriculture experienced a constant declined, while manufacturing sector firstly saw a high peak then went down.

Begain with manufacturing sector, started 15 millions jobs in 1960 to high peak 20 millions before dramatically fall with almost 13 millions by the end of the year. In addition, in retail sector experienced constant upward trend started with seven millions to 16 millions by 2020.

In contrast, healthcare sector also saw a constant increased throughout the period started approximately 2 millions at 1960 to slightly incresed to five millions in 1980 and finally a dramatically rose to 16 millions by 2020. Furthermore, agriculture sector begun with six millions in 1960 and after that experienced constant downfall and reached almost two millions by the end of the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The response also includes relevant start and end figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million and then about 13 million, and healthcare rising from about 2 million to 16 million. This covers the task well, with some features reported in detail. However, the overview could make the key comparisons clearer: manufacturing was the largest sector in 1960 and 1980, while retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020. Some details are imprecise: retail began at 6 million, not seven, and agriculture fell to 3 million by 1980, remained there in 2000, then declined to 2 million. Adding these stages would make the account more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. The contrast marker “In contrast” helps distinguish healthcare and agriculture from the earlier trends, and the information generally follows the timeline. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly the repeated “In addition” and “Furthermore,” and the sector-by-sector grouping does not always make comparisons easy to follow. Several sentence openings are incomplete or unclear, such as “Begain with manufacturing sector, started…” and “In addition, in retail sector experienced…”. Use complete topic sentences and group related comparisons—for example, compare the two sectors that finish at 16 million—to create smoother progression and clearer connections.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “peak,” “dramatically,” and “constant downfall,” so the reader can understand the broad movements. However, inaccurate spelling and word forms are noticeable, including “Manufacturinf,” “Begain,” and “incresed.” Some collocations are also unnatural: “constant declined,” “high peak,” and “dramatically fall” do not express the trends idiomatically. Aim for precise, conventional chart language such as “declined steadily,” “reached a peak,” and “fell sharply.” Repetition of “sector,” “started,” and “trend” also limits flexibility. A wider set of accurate verbs and nouns for rises, falls, and stability would make the description more fluent and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some grammatical errors recur in sentence construction and verb forms. For example, “Begain with manufacturing sector, started…” is a fragment, while “In addition, in retail sector experienced…” has an unnecessary introductory phrase and lacks a clear subject structure. In “agriculture experienced a constant declined,” the noun form does not fit the sentence, and “healthcare sector also saw a constant increased” has the same pattern. Articles and plurals also need attention in phrases such as “manufacturing sector” and “15 millions jobs.” Practise complete subject–verb sentences and consistent past-tense forms; this will allow your range of structures to communicate the trends more accurately.

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