Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the proprotion of jobs in four different sectors in US from 1960 to 2020. On the one hand, the number of jobs in the agriculture industry started with approximately six million in the year 1960 and the number kept declining until 2020. On the other hand, the number jobs in manufacturing sector has always been above the other three sector. Although the jobs in the secondary industry kept increasing from the year 1960 to the year 1980, but it has witnessed a significant fall in the subsequent years. Moreover, the sectors with tremendous increase in terms of job would be retailing and healthcare with an increase of approximately 10 and 14 million jobs in the 20 years period. Furthermore, primary industry had 6 million jobs in 1960 which kept declining until 1980 remained the same for ten years, and has undergone a modest fall in the last 10 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several relevant trends, including agriculture’s decline and the growth of retail and healthcare, and you give some figures to support these points. However, the overview is incomplete: there is no clear summary of the main changes across all four sectors, and the claim that manufacturing “has always been above the other three” is inaccurate. By 2020, retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs, exceeding manufacturing at roughly 13 million. The retail and healthcare increase is also described as occurring “in the 20 years period,” although the chart covers 60 years; their rises are about 10 and 14 million respectively over the full period. A clearer overview and more accurate comparisons would make the response more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response includes relevant information and uses linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “Although,” and “Furthermore.” However, the ideas do not progress in a fully clear order: agriculture is discussed, then manufacturing, then retail and healthcare, before agriculture is revisited. This repetition weakens the overall organisation. Some connectors are also used mechanically or do not express the relationship accurately; for example, “On the one hand” is not followed by a corresponding “on the other hand” contrast, and “Although” is followed by “but,” creating unnecessary duplication. Grouping the overview first, then describing rising sectors together and declining sectors together, would create a clearer progression and make the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “declining,” “significant fall,” “tremendous increase,” and “modest fall,” which helps describe trends. Some less common expressions are attempted, but several choices are inaccurate or awkward: “proprotion” is misspelled and the graph shows numbers of jobs, not a proportion; “the number jobs” omits a word; and “the sectors with tremendous increase in terms of job” is an unnatural phrase. “Secondary industry” and “primary industry” are also less direct than naming manufacturing and agriculture, and may make the categories less clear. Aim for precise collocations such as “the number of jobs,” “rose substantially,” and “employment in agriculture.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “which,” and the main trends are generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur. In “the number jobs in manufacturing sector,” articles and the preposition are missing; “the other three sector” needs a plural noun; and “Although … but” incorrectly combines two contrasting structures. The sentence about agriculture in 1980 and 2000 also lacks clear punctuation and a complete connection between clauses: “kept declining until 1980 remained the same…” Use full stops or conjunctions to separate stages, and check articles, plurals, and clause structure. These corrections would improve accuracy while preserving the range of sentence forms you are attempting.

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