Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graps show a nombers of jobs in for sectors of the economis in US . It 's give information of 1960 to 2020 time gap.

Overall, chart give information , Manufacturing , Retail , Agriculture and Helthcare Dipartments . In 1996 manufacturing jobs are very famouse . Helthcare jobs are very less . It's changing 2020 , helthcare jobs going higher than manufacturing .

however, in 1996 manufacturing job shows a 15 milions . rentail and agriculture job shows 7 milions . heathcare job only 3 milions . it's very less than others . 1980 also manufactuting job a highly famous it's 20 milons .that year retail and heathcare went up like 10 milons and 5 milions . agriculture wnets down in 3 milions .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and make a relevant broad comparison: manufacturing is prominent earlier, while healthcare rises by 2020. However, the report covers only the first two years in detail and does not describe the 2000 or 2020 figures adequately; the claim that healthcare becomes higher than manufacturing is also inaccurate, as both healthcare and retail reach about 16 million in 2020, compared with manufacturing at 13 million. Several figures for 1960 are misreported: retail and agriculture are about 6 million each, not 7, and healthcare is about 2 million, not 3. The response is also 24 words below the required minimum. Include a clear overview and select accurate comparisons across the full period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, an overview-like paragraph and a paragraph about figures. The sequence from 1960 to 1980 is understandable, and words such as “Overall” and “however” signal relationships. However, the overview is mixed with unclear statements, and the report stops before covering the later years, so the progression is incomplete. The use of “however” does not introduce a clear contrast, while repeated references to “jobs” and “that year” do little to connect the information precisely. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the main trends, then compare the sectors across 2000 and 2020 as well as the earlier years.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “jobs,” “sectors,” “manufacturing,” “retail,” and “agriculture,” so the reader can identify the subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling errors make parts of the report difficult to read, for example “graps,” “nombers,” “economis,” “Helthcare,” and “milions.” Some choices are also unsuitable for describing data: “very famous” does not mean that a sector employed many people, and “went up” is less precise than a trend verb. Build a small set of accurate chart terms, such as “employment,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt simple statements and some longer sentences, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently affect clarity. Examples include “This graps show a nombers” and “Overall, chart give information,” where subject–verb agreement and articles are missing or incorrect. Tense and sentence construction are also problematic in “1980 also manufactuting job a highly famous” and “agriculture wnets down in 3 milions”; these do not form clear, complete clauses. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, with extra spaces before punctuation and sentences joined without clear boundaries. Practise accurate basic patterns first—for example, “Manufacturing employed 15 million people in 1960”—then combine them using “while” or “whereas” to make comparisons.

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